Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon
The fix the first problem you could title the poem The Void or some other similar word to showcase the fact that you are talking about an empty feeling and not a literal vacuum.
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Ooo! I like that: "Void." I have made the change.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon
I don't feel like the second problem is really a problem. I didn't get that feeling while reading it.
I felt like you were singing the song to a group of people and there were males and females in the audience. Not like you were singing it to one person that happened to be into women and men.
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Oh, good, because that's how I meant it: I am singing to a group of people and there are males and females in the audience. Phew! I am relieved that the lyrics didn't make you think of a polygamist relationship.
Thanks, dj!
