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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
Whoops! I completely missed that you'd posted this, Slj! Thank you for reading. You got the meaning perfectly.
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That's prefectly fine. I didn't even notice. I haven't been on mb since posting that, so it makes no difference to me.
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Thanks also for the suggestion about changing one of the all's to avoid repetition. I agree with you, but I feel kind of stuck without a solution that satisfies me completely, because I really do feel that a person whom one loves deserves "all" and I don't want to change that, yet if I write, "I've no wish to deceive you when I see I can't offer you more, and you deserve all," then I will have repeated "more" (which I used twice up above these lines...another repetition).
When I wrote these lyrics I was playing around with repetition, which is the reason I used "more...more" and "all...all." I hope it will come across as healthy repetition rather than lack of creativity  but I understand your opinion completely. I'll brood on it.
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That's all I can ask. Just go with whatever feels right to you; if you like it, then it is as it should be.
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Thanks again! 
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Of course!
Keep writing, my friend. It gets better each and every time I come in here.
