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Trollheart · 01-17-2013, 12:14 PM

Season 1: Three million years from Earth...

Episode 2: "Future echoes"

For the first two seasons, the episode will be preceded by Holly giving a basic rundown of what happened in episode one, with a joke tagged on at the end, a different joke each episode. The usual announcement runs like this, though later the words "a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew" is changed to "a hologram simulation of his dead bunkmate".

This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship "Red Dwarf". The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold.

Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew.

The joke: I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000. The same IQ as 6000 PE teachers.

As he prepares to make the calculations for the jump to lightspeed that will help them navigate their way home, Holly tells Lister that he and the Cat must go into stasis, and Lister tells Rimmer that he has decided to go the whole hog and stay there for the entire trip home. Rimmer is not impressed, as he knows this means he'll be left alone with Holly. When Lister suggests they could just turn his hologram off for the journey, this still doesn't satisfy him. At any rate, it seems that Holly has made something of a miscalculation and they've broke the lightspeed barrier too early. As a consequence, very weird things are happening aboard the ship.

Conversations are taking place out of synchronisation, effects are being seen and felt before the cause occurs, and Holly tells Lister, Rimmer and the Cat that they are experiencing what are known as "future echoes". As they move closer to the speed of light, time speeds up, and so they begin to catch up on their future selves, seeing and experiencing events before they have actually taken place. The Cat runs by, holding his face and shouting that he's broken a tooth, and a short while later we see him fishing in Lister's fishtank, unaware the fish in there are robotic. So it's now pretty clear what's going to happen: the Cat will bite the robot fish, break his tooth and then go screaming out into the corridor, where the "other" Lister and Rimmer will see him running past. Clear? No? It gets better...

The strangest thing they see from the future is a photograph of Lister holding two babies, which certainly look to be his. When Rimmer asks how he gets two babies he grins and says "I don't know, but it's going to be fun finding out!" He's not laughing though when Rimmer calls him to say he has just seen a future echo of Lister dying! Desperate to change the future, Lister reasons that if he can stop the Cat from eating his goldfish and thereby breaking his tooth, he can cheat fate and change the outcome. Rimmer, ghoulishly delighted at the situation Lister is in (and happy that he's in no danger!) tells him it can't be done, but follows him anyway.

Although Lister manages to knock the fish out of the Cat's grip, in the ensuing fall and struggle the Cat hits his head and ... knocks his tooth out. Thus proving the old axiom that you can't change the future, it will always realign to the same outcome. Then Holly calls to say there's an emergency, and he needs help in the drive room. This is where Rimmer said he has seen Lister die, so Lister, realising you can't cheat fate after all, resigns himself to the inevitable and goes to meet his destiny.

After a tense few moments though, he fails to die and Rimmer, making no attempt to disguise his disappointment, is unable to understand it. He knows he saw Lister die, here, at this point, and yet here he is, still alive. When they return to the bunks, they're amazed to see a very old man there, who is quite obviously Lister from the far far future. He tells Lister (well, himself, but his past self, who is his present self --- don't you just love temporal paradoxes?) that it wasn't him that Rimmer saw die in the drive room, but Lister's son, Bexley. He tells Lister to run and get his camera, which he does.

On returning, the old man is gone, but in his place is a Lister not much older than the current one, holding two babies. Lister snaps a photo, and now we know where the photograph they saw in the future echo came from. But as to how Lister gets two babies without a woman on board, well that's another story and believe me, you wouldn't guess it, not if you lived to be a million!

Best lines/quotes/scenes:

Rimmer to Lister, having seen "him" die in the future echo:

Rimmer: "Brace yourself for a bit of a shock, Lister, but I just saw you die!"
Lister: "What?!"
Rimmer: "I did warn you to brace yourself."
Lister: "You didn't give me much of a chance!"
Rimmer: "I gave you ample bracing time!"
Lister: "No you didn't. You didn't even pause."
Rimmer: "Well, I'm sorry! I've just had a rather nasty experience. I have just seen someone I know die in the most hideous, hideous way!"
Lister: "Yeah! Me!"
Rimmer: "You were fiddling around with the navi-"
Lister: "I don't want to know! I don't want to know!"
Rimmer: "You don't want to know how you die?"
Lister: "No! (Pause) Was it quick?"
Rimmer: "Well, I wouldn't say it was super fast. Not if you count the thrashing around and the agonised squealing."
Lister: "You're really loving this, aren't you?"
Rimmer: "What a horrible thing to say!"
Lister: "It was definitely me?"
Rimmer: "Oh yes".
Lister: "I don't want to know. (Pause) How old did I look?"
Rimmer: "How old are you now?"
Lister: "Twenty-five. How old did I look?"
Rimmer: "Mmmm ... mid twenties."
Lister: "Smeg! I'm not ready! I'm not smegging ready!"
Rimmer: "You did seem surprised."
Lister: "Ah! Did you actually see me face?"
Rimmer: "You were wearing a hat, but it was definitely you."

The "future echo conversation" between Rimmer and Lister (and Lister)...

Lister: "Yo, Rimmer, look, I've been thinking--"
Rimmer: "What?"
Lister: "You know, about going into stasis and everything."
Rimmer: "How did I do what?"

(Rimmer walks into the middle of the room, and Lister realises that Rimmer
isn't looking at him, but at an empty spot in the air. Throughout the
following conversation, Rimmer continues ignoring Lister and talking to
thin air, while Lister is continually looking around, trying to figure
out what Rimmer thinks he's talking to.)

Lister: "What do you mean, "How did I do what?"
Rimmer: "Lister, don't be a gimboid."
Lister: "I'm not being a gimboid!"
Rimmer: "I've just been in the library, thinking. And I've decided--"

Rimmer stops as though he was interrupted, although Lister hasn't done
anything.

Rimmer: "Shut up! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I've decided, when you go into stasis, I want to stay behind. I want to be left on."
Lister: "What, on your own for the rest of your life?"
Rimmer: "What things?"
Lister: "Eh?"
Rimmer: "I said what?"
Lister: "What's going on?"
Rimmer: "You're space crazy!"
Lister: "I'm space crazy?! You're the one who's (waving his hand in front of Rimmer's face, who doesn't notice) space crazy!"
Rimmer: "Well, it probably is deja vu. It sounds like it."

Rimmer shakes his head and leaves the Drive Room through the near door. As he leaves, a second Rimmer enters through the far door. Lister is staring after the first Rimmer, and gets a shock when he turns around and sees the second Rimmer.

Lister: (Screams) "Aaahhh! Rimmer! (Calms down a little) I've just seen you walk out of that door!"
Rimmer: (Now talking directly to Lister) "What?"
Lister: "How did you do that?"
Rimmer: "How did I do what?"
Lister: "You just this second walked out of that door."
Rimmer: "Lister, don't be a gimboid".
Lister: "I swear, on me grandmother's life, as you walked out of that door, you came in this one!"
Rimmer: "I've just been in the library, thinking. And I've decided--"
Lister: "Rimmer, I'm telling ya--"
Rimmer: "Shut up! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I've decided, when you go into stasis, I want to stay behind. I want to be left on."

As he says this, Lister realises that he's heard all this before.

Lister: "Rimmer, you've just come in and said exactly these things."
Rimmer: "What things?"
Lister: "You said that!"
Rimmer: "I said what?"
Lister: "And that! You said that!"
Rimmer: "You're space crazy!"
Lister: "And then you said, "Well it probably is deja vu."
Rimmer: "Well, it probably is deja vu. It sounds like it."
Lister: "Well, go on then. Shake your head and walk out."

Rimmer shakes his head and walks out.

Lister's idea of freshening up (it's better visually but you'll get the general idea.)

Lister reaches under his T-shirt to scratch with one hand and sprays under his arms with the other. He picks up another spray can in his free hand and sprays his face. He suddenly realises that he's spraying his face with underarm deodorant. Cautiously reaching under his shirt, he discovers that he's been spraying shaving foam under his arms. He scrapes off a handful and slaps it on his face.

Rimmer, on the drawbacks of being dead:

Lister: "Oh, come on, Rimmer, don't give me this."
Rimmer: "Don't give you what? I'm dead, Lister, or hadn't you noticed?"
Lister: "I know you're dead, Rimmer. Don't whinge on about it!"
Rimmer: "Sorry to be a bore."
Lister: "I mean, you're everything you were when you were alive. Same personality. Same everything."
Rimmer: "Apart from the minuscule detail that I'm a stiffie."
Lister: "Look, Rimmer, death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. It doesn't screw your career up like it used to."
Rimmer: "That's what they say, Lister. But if you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?"
Lister: "It depends which is better qualified."
Rimmer: "Bull pats! When was the last time you saw a dead newsreader?"
Lister: "Channel 27 have a hologram reading the news."
Rimmer: "Oh, groovy, funky Channel 27. Big smegging deal. You livvies hate us deadies!"

Good morning, Lister, Rimmer-style:

Rimmer: "Morning, Lister! How's life in hippie heaven, you pregnant baboon-bellied space cookie?What's the plan for the day then? Slobbing in the morning, followed by slobbing in the afternoon, then a bit of a snooze before the main evening's slob? God, you're a disgrace to the species!"

The Cat, taking only "the bare essentials" into stasis:

The Cat is wheeling a rack of clothes along and meets Lister.

CAT: (Singing) "This little kitty went into stasis. Oooo! This little kitty stayed home. Ooh! Yeah, my clothes look good."
Lister: (Laughing) "What are you doing?"
CAT: "I'm doing what you said do."
Lister: "I said, "Take a few essential basics you couldn't bear to leave behind."
CAT: "Right! These are all I'm taking. Just these, and the other ten racks. Travel light, move fast!"
Lister: "You can't take all of this. There's no room."
CAT: (Rummaging around in the rack) "OK, then I'll leave ... this!" (Pulls out a small red handkerchief.) "I'll just have to do without it."
Lister: "You can take two suits and that's it."
CAT: "Two suits? Then I'm staying!"
Lister: "You can't stay. By the time I come out, you'll be dead."
CAT: "Two suits is dead!"

Lister and Rimmer discuss the causality and the inevitability of events. Kind of. With respect to his upcoming death, as witnessed by a Rimmer barely managing to suppress his delight:

Rimmer: "Lister, it has happened. You can't change it, any more than you can change what you had for breakfast yesterday."
Lister: "Hey, it hasn't happened, has it? It has will have going to have happened happened, but it hasn't actually happened happened yet, actually."
Rimmer: "Poppycock! It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future. Simple as that. Your bucket's been kicked, baby!"

And before I confuse you (or myself!) any more, I'm off! More Red Dwarf in the coming days. Watch for more Babylon 5 soon, and hopefully we'll get Supernatural properly started before the week is out. Yeah. Don't hold yer breath...

01-17-2013, 12:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Season 1: Three million years from Earth... *Episode 2: "Future echoes"* For the first two seasons, the episode will be preceded by Holly giving a basic rundown of what happened in episode one, with a joke tagged on at the end, a different joke each episode. The usual announcement runs like this, though later the words "a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew" is changed to "a hologram simulation of his dead bunkmate". This is an SOS distress call from the mining ship "Red Dwarf". The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew. The joke: I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000. The same IQ as 6000 PE teachers. As he prepares to make the calculations for the jump to lightspeed that will help them navigate their way home, Holly tells Lister that he and the Cat must go into stasis, and Lister tells Rimmer that he has decided to go the whole hog and stay there for the entire trip home. Rimmer is not impressed, as he knows this means he'll be left alone with Holly. When Lister suggests they could just turn his hologram off for the journey, this still doesn't satisfy him. At any rate, it seems that Holly has made something of a miscalculation and they've broke the lightspeed barrier too early. As a consequence, very weird things are happening aboard the ship. Conversations are taking place out of synchronisation, effects are being seen and felt before the cause occurs, and Holly tells Lister, Rimmer and the Cat that they are experiencing what are known as "future echoes". As they move closer to the speed of light, time speeds up, and so they begin to catch up on their future selves, seeing and experiencing events before they have actually taken place. The Cat runs by, holding his face and shouting that he's broken a tooth, and a short while later we see him fishing in Lister's fishtank, unaware the fish in there are robotic. So it's now pretty clear what's going to happen: the Cat will bite the robot fish, break his tooth and then go screaming out into the corridor, where the "other" Lister and Rimmer will see him running past. Clear? No? It gets better... The strangest thing they see from the future is a photograph of Lister holding two babies, which certainly look to be his. When Rimmer asks how he gets two babies he grins and says "I don't know, but it's going to be fun finding out!" He's not laughing though when Rimmer calls him to say he has just seen a future echo of Lister dying! Desperate to change the future, Lister reasons that if he can stop the Cat from eating his goldfish and thereby breaking his tooth, he can cheat fate and change the outcome. Rimmer, ghoulishly delighted at the situation Lister is in (and happy that he's in no danger!) tells him it can't be done, but follows him anyway. Although Lister manages to knock the fish out of the Cat's grip, in the ensuing fall and struggle the Cat hits his head and ... knocks his tooth out. Thus proving the old axiom that you can't change the future, it will always realign to the same outcome. Then Holly calls to say there's an emergency, and he needs help in the drive room. This is where Rimmer said he has seen Lister die, so Lister, realising you can't cheat fate after all, resigns himself to the inevitable and goes to meet his destiny. After a tense few moments though, he fails to die and Rimmer, making no attempt to disguise his disappointment, is unable to understand it. He knows he saw Lister die, here, at this point, and yet here he is, still alive. When they return to the bunks, they're amazed to see a very old man there, who is quite obviously Lister from the far far future. He tells Lister (well, himself, but his past self, who is his present self --- don't you just love temporal paradoxes?) that it wasn't him that Rimmer saw die in the drive room, but Lister's son, Bexley. He tells Lister to run and get his camera, which he does. On returning, the old man is gone, but in his place is a Lister not much older than the current one, holding two babies. Lister snaps a photo, and now we know where the photograph they saw in the future echo came from. But as to how Lister gets two babies without a woman on board, well that's another story and believe me, you wouldn't guess it, not if you lived to be a million! Best lines/quotes/scenes: *Rimmer to Lister, having seen "him" die in the future echo:* Rimmer: "Brace yourself for a bit of a shock, Lister, but I just saw you die!" Lister: "What?!" Rimmer: "I did warn you to brace yourself." Lister: "You didn't give me much of a chance!" Rimmer: "I gave you ample bracing time!" Lister: "No you didn't. You didn't even pause." Rimmer: "Well, I'm sorry! I've just had a rather nasty experience. I have just seen someone I know die in the most hideous, hideous way!" Lister: "Yeah! Me!" Rimmer: "You were fiddling around with the navi-" Lister: "I don't want to know! I don't want to know!" Rimmer: "You don't want to know how you die?" Lister: "No! (Pause) Was it quick?" Rimmer: "Well, I wouldn't say it was super fast. Not if you count the thrashing around and the agonised squealing." Lister: "You're really loving this, aren't you?" Rimmer: "What a horrible thing to say!" Lister: "It was definitely me?" Rimmer: "Oh yes". Lister: "I don't want to know. (Pause) How old did I look?" Rimmer: "How old are you now?" Lister: "Twenty-five. How old did I look?" Rimmer: "Mmmm ... mid twenties." Lister: "Smeg! I'm not ready! I'm not smegging ready!" Rimmer: "You did seem surprised." Lister: "Ah! Did you actually see me face?" Rimmer: "You were wearing a hat, but it was definitely you." *The "future echo conversation" between Rimmer and Lister (and Lister)...* Lister: "Yo, Rimmer, look, I've been thinking--" Rimmer: "What?" Lister: "You know, about going into stasis and everything." Rimmer: "How did I do what?" (Rimmer walks into the middle of the room, and Lister realises that Rimmer isn't looking at him, but at an empty spot in the air. Throughout the following conversation, Rimmer continues ignoring Lister and talking to thin air, while Lister is continually looking around, trying to figure out what Rimmer thinks he's talking to.) Lister: "What do you mean, "How did I do what?" Rimmer: "Lister, don't be a gimboid." Lister: "I'm not being a gimboid!" Rimmer: "I've just been in the library, thinking. And I've decided--" Rimmer stops as though he was interrupted, although Lister hasn't done anything. Rimmer: "Shut up! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I've decided, when you go into stasis, I want to stay behind. I want to be left on." Lister: "What, on your own for the rest of your life?" Rimmer: "What things?" Lister: "Eh?" Rimmer: "I said what?" Lister: "What's going on?" Rimmer: "You're space crazy!" Lister: "I'm space crazy?! You're the one who's (waving his hand in front of Rimmer's face, who doesn't notice) space crazy!" Rimmer: "Well, it probably is deja vu. It sounds like it." Rimmer shakes his head and leaves the Drive Room through the near door. As he leaves, a second Rimmer enters through the far door. Lister is staring after the first Rimmer, and gets a shock when he turns around and sees the second Rimmer. Lister: (Screams) "Aaahhh! Rimmer! (Calms down a little) I've just seen you walk out of that door!" Rimmer: (Now talking directly to Lister) "What?" Lister: "How did you do that?" Rimmer: "How did I do what?" Lister: "You just this second walked out of that door." Rimmer: "Lister, don't be a gimboid". Lister: "I swear, on me grandmother's life, as you walked out of that door, you came in this one!" Rimmer: "I've just been in the library, thinking. And I've decided--" Lister: "Rimmer, I'm telling ya--" Rimmer: "Shut up! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I've decided, when you go into stasis, I want to stay behind. I want to be left on." As he says this, Lister realises that he's heard all this before. Lister: "Rimmer, you've just come in and said exactly these things." Rimmer: "What things?" Lister: "You said that!" Rimmer: "I said what?" Lister: "And that! You said that!" Rimmer: "You're space crazy!" Lister: "And then you said, "Well it probably is deja vu." Rimmer: "Well, it probably is deja vu. It sounds like it." Lister: "Well, go on then. Shake your head and walk out." Rimmer shakes his head and walks out. *Lister's idea of freshening up* (it's better visually but you'll get the general idea.) Lister reaches under his T-shirt to scratch with one hand and sprays under his arms with the other. He picks up another spray can in his free hand and sprays his face. He suddenly realises that he's spraying his face with underarm deodorant. Cautiously reaching under his shirt, he discovers that he's been spraying shaving foam under his arms. He scrapes off a handful and slaps it on his face. *Rimmer, on the drawbacks of being dead:* Lister: "Oh, come on, Rimmer, don't give me this." Rimmer: "Don't give you what? I'm dead, Lister, or hadn't you noticed?" Lister: "I know you're dead, Rimmer. Don't whinge on about it!" Rimmer: "Sorry to be a bore." Lister: "I mean, you're everything you were when you were alive. Same personality. Same everything." Rimmer: "Apart from the minuscule detail that I'm a stiffie." Lister: "Look, Rimmer, death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. It doesn't screw your career up like it used to." Rimmer: "That's what they say, Lister. But if you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?" Lister: "It depends which is better qualified." Rimmer: "Bull pats! When was the last time you saw a dead newsreader?" Lister: "Channel 27 have a hologram reading the news." Rimmer: "Oh, groovy, funky Channel 27. Big smegging deal. You livvies hate us deadies!" *Good morning, Lister, Rimmer-style:* Rimmer: "Morning, Lister! How's life in hippie heaven, you pregnant baboon-bellied space cookie?What's the plan for the day then? Slobbing in the morning, followed by slobbing in the afternoon, then a bit of a snooze before the main evening's slob? God, you're a disgrace to the species!" *The Cat, taking only "the bare essentials" into stasis:* The Cat is wheeling a rack of clothes along and meets Lister. CAT: (Singing) "This little kitty went into stasis. Oooo! This little kitty stayed home. Ooh! Yeah, my clothes look good." Lister: (Laughing) "What are you doing?" CAT: "I'm doing what you said do." Lister: "I said, "Take a few essential basics you couldn't bear to leave behind." CAT: "Right! These are all I'm taking. Just these, and the other ten racks. Travel light, move fast!" Lister: "You can't take all of this. There's no room." CAT: (Rummaging around in the rack) "OK, then I'll leave ... this!" (Pulls out a small red handkerchief.) "I'll just have to do without it." Lister: "You can take two suits and that's it." CAT: "Two suits? Then I'm staying!" Lister: "You can't stay. By the time I come out, you'll be dead." CAT: "Two suits is dead!" *Lister and Rimmer discuss the causality and the inevitability of events. Kind of. With respect to his upcoming death, as witnessed by a Rimmer barely managing to suppress his delight:* Rimmer: "Lister, it has happened. You can't change it, any more than you can change what you had for breakfast yesterday." Lister: "Hey, it hasn't happened, has it? It has will have going to have happened happened, but it hasn't actually happened happened yet, actually." Rimmer: "Poppycock! It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future. Simple as that. Your bucket's been kicked, baby!" And before I confuse you (or myself!) any more, I'm off! More Red Dwarf in the coming days. Watch for more Babylon 5 soon, and hopefully we'll get Supernatural properly started before the week is out. Yeah. Don't hold yer breath... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018 Last edited by Trollheart; 04-17-2015 at 01:20 PM.