Welcome to the world of, er, today! Time for yet another boring journal update, where those of you who can make it through feign interest in the work of others, and people like the Batlord just rush to see what I've said about their journal. Or in his case, journals. Whatever. Just as long as ya keep reading, meatbags!
Before we begin, and though I always do this thing alphabetically, I have an apology to issue. Last week's update did not mention any input from
Pedestrian, and even when she reminded me of this omission I failed to see the entry. Eventually my old tired clapped-out peepers noticed it and so it's being included here, a week late. So sorry Ped both for not mentioning it and for thinking there was nothing to mention. Hey, I AM 50 next week!
So then, in Pedestrian's excellent
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sswalking.html last week she did a great track-by-track review of an album by a band who for some reason decided to call themselves A Burning Water --- thought water was always plural, as in "too much water here" not "too much waters"? Anyhoo, it's part of a new section she calls "Dirty Laundry", where she's going to be dredging up some embarrassing music from her past and seeing if it was really that bad. Seems on this occasion, it was and still is.
And now, on with the rest of the alphabet, for those of you not maligned (yet) by me...
The Batlord is back doing what he does best in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...lks-about.html with Helloween and Exhorder on the menu. Mmm! Over in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html, "The Return of the Kings of Metal" is in full swing (that's swinging of a broadsword) --- if you haven't read his latest epic then why are you still standing here?
We have a new member! Well, not a new member, but a new journal.
DJ Chameleon is planning to give us
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...chameleon.html, and in his first posts he's talking about his childhood, how he got his username and also a note on albums listeners vs single listeners. Sounds interesting!
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...use-songs.html is as busy as ever, with reviews of Fela Kuti, the father of Afro-Beat music apparently, and two Lost Album Classics!
The Phanastasio has finally added in the long-awaited next chapter to "The wonderful strange ones" in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html. And apologies Sara: I've been calling you The Phantasio up to now! Oops!
Powerstars is reviewing two very different album in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sicalness.html, one from the Killers and one from Dragonforce. Yeah. Told you they were different!
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-observer.html, but not out to conquer or enslave us, so far as I know,
Stephen is checking out an album by Died Pretty. Can't say I've heard of them, but then you won't be surprised at that!
Me? Well again I've been a little preoccupied this week so there's not a huge amount to report from my journals. Only three have been updated. In
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html we're wrapping up the fourth instalment of my special on the NWOBHM with a look at Diamond Head, while over at
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html we finally start reviewing Frasier, and another
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ver-heard.html is Skynyrd's classic debut album: remedying that this week.
Unknown Soldier has picked his Album of the Year for 1976: you'll never guess what it is! No, you really won't. Look, just take my word for it okay? Head his way to find out. Here! Do I have to take you by the hand?
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html --- just follow the sound of guitars and as they get louder and then unbearably loud you'll know you're nearly there.
Urban's got a word about "Awesome songs you've never heard" over at
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-stuff.html
while it's a second look at Talk Talk's "Laughing stock" as
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...used-hate.html
Now for this week's Showcase. In a shameless and completely obvious attempt to earn forgiveness for last week's blunder, I'm featuring that lady again. Hey, she deserves it! She may not update as regularly as some, but when she does, it's well worth the wait!
Pedestrian is of course one of the moderators here, and seems to have been here forever, though her avatar says she only joined in 2010! Shows how much she's got done in such a relatively short time. Initially, I always though she was a guy, as her strapline is "Pedantic bastard". Well, what would YOU think?
Anyway, here's an extract from her always interesting and worth checking out and never missing an update journal...
This is the famous "I am not Drew".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedestrian
I'm Not Drew: An Ongoing Narrative of Inadvertent Identity Theft
Upon moving house and beginning college this past September, I became a member of the cellular club, and acquired my first mobile phone. I lamented the purchase, because while I had stubbornly managed fine for 23 years without one, in a new city, without a home phone, I was aware of its necessity. Never did it occur to me the great source of entertainment it would provide.
I am at heart an annoying prat who receives immense satisfaction from the irritation and stupidity of other people, so it was my joy when I received my first ever wrong-number text.
Unknown: What's up?
Self: Not much, you?
Unknown: You bringing the wings?
Unknown: Is this Drew?
I take the bait.
Self: Yeah, it's Andrew.
A minor thrill which nothing came of for weeks, until...
Unknown: Hey, you said I need a new fuel pump, right? Do I go to GM or Lordco?
I punch "fuel pump" into Google, and pick out the first result.
Self: Go with an AC Delco.
Unknown: But it needs to be for a GM?
Unknown: Nevermind, AC Delco is GM, lol.
In accidentally recommending the correct part, I become the Rainman of auto mechanics.
Unknown: So should I bring it in on Tuesday?
Self: Yeah, sure.
Unknown: And do you think Lordco will have it?
Self: Not sure. Call and ask.
Two weeks pass, and in the interim I receive a number of voicemails from a credit company looking for Drew, which I immediately delete. Then:
Unknown: This is how my heater sounds at 5 AM.
Attached is a three minute audio sample of "HHHHHHHHHHSSSSSHHHHHHKKRRRRNGRNGRNGRNG".
Self: This is how a harelip crow sounds.
Attached in reply is a 3 second clip of warbled cawing.
Another two weeks pass at least, and then:
Unknown: Did you order that part?
Self: Ah shit, I forgot.
Unknown: Can you do it tomorrow, and I'll bring it in on Monday?
I briefly consider continuing the prank, but decide it would be cruel to make a false appointment with the man, who may potentially go very far out of his way to find out he'd been had. My conscience gets the better of me.
Self: Listen, man. I enjoyed messing with you for a while, but I can't let you make a fake appointment. You've got the wrong number. I'm not Drew. Sorry man.
Unknown: Lol, that's fucking funny.
Ten minutes pass.
Unknown: So you going to be at the pub Sat?
He still thinks I'm Drew. Pretending not to be Drew. With that in mind...
...
Self: Yeah. I'll be there.
The next week I receive a number of calls from the credit company, which I finally listen to thoroughly.
Credit Company: Hello, we are calling for Drew Crowe--
Will the perfection never cease? In addition, at this point my voicemail recording now says "I'm not Drew. Noooooot Drew. This isn't Drew, and Drew's not here". Furthermore, I have called the voicemail of Unknown, and learned he is named Al.
The following weekend, pursuaded by two bottles of wine, I get my hands on my cell phone and fire off messages to everyone in my list, including:
Self: Hey Al! I'm bringing the wings Sunday?
Al: Lol, no.
Self: Did I get the day wrong?
Al: Yeah, it's Wednesday man.
Self: Oh, okay. See you then.
But it would seem that Al isn't Drew's only friend, and automotives aren't Drew's only profession...
New Unknown: Hey does your phone have a plan
Self: No, I don't.
New Unknown: So talking is out of the question then
Self: I've got free texting. What's up?
New Unknown: Text me if you hear from your buddy
I'm sitting in a cab with my roommate as I receive this message, heading home for the holidays.
Self: I'm with my buddy right now.
New Unknown: So what's the word, should I drive over there for dinner
Self: Nah, we're not home right now.
New Unknown: Is there a chance to find what I need today
My roommate, reading these, laughs, "He's looking for drugs".
Self: Depends what you're looking for.
New Unknown: About a gram or close to it
Self: Are you looking for Drew?
New Unknown: Well I'm hoping if this is his phone that I'm going to be visiting him today
Self: Today's not the best man
New Unknown: Alright, cool, I'll look elsewhere
.
And thus I have become Drew, a shady-mechanic/small-time-drug-dealer with bad credit and an acquaintance named Al, who really likes chicken wings, and apparently didn't pay his phone bill, resulting in the recycling of his phone number.
I now understand the entire appeal of cell phones.
|
And so as I narrowly escape with my reputation intact and without a permaban, let's have a look at this week's league table...
Ah, but before we do, another point. In something of an effort to encourage people to try their hand at journal writing, I've decided to award a special, one-off point bonus of 50 to anyone who starts, or has started, a journal recently. I've backdated this to when the update thread began, with the result that there are some rather unexpected advances in the table this week, and a new entry too. This is, as I say, strictly a one-off award and given regardless of the content of the journal, the member, or anything else.
A few surprises here this week, though Screen 13, despite not having made any entries this week (as of the time of writing) is still at the top. There's a leap for the Batlord from number 8 to number 6, as he contemptuously kicks down Urban and the Big3 with his new epic in "The Batcave", while Stephen rises from 12 to 9 with the benefit of that "Beginner's Award" I mentioned. CrazyVegn also profits from that: she was about to fall off the chart last week but thanks to the award has clawed her way upwards, to currently occupy the 16th position.
Two re-entries as YorkeDaddy and The Phanastasio update their journals and come in at 15 and 19 respectively, while there's a brand new journal from DJ Chameleon which makes its entrance at number 13. This week we lose (hopefully only temporarily, it's up to you guys) Engine and Antonio, while Zero just about hangs on to the cliff-face at number 20.
Bubbling under it's pretty much the same as last week, with the addition of the two abovementioned who have slipped off the table for now.
Now, before I go, a negative comment has been made (I won't say by who) about the way I devised the points system for this chart. I think it's unfounded personally, as I made certain that when I was putting this together it would be as fair to newcomers as old hands. If I just based it on views then the journals who had been here longer would have an unfair advantage, and if I based it purely on posts without any thought to what sort of posts they were, unscrupulous members with nothing better in their lives could post one-liners and comments every day just to get up the table, which is something I think nobody wants. So this seems the best way, but if anyone has a problem with it (and cares enough for it to bother them) my inbox is always open.
So that's it for another week. Hope you all have fun reading, updating or both, and don't forget to look into the Batcave: that epic is hilarious!
Well, I'm sick of this room and everybody in it! Goodbye, losers whom I've always hated!
Toodles!