Ah-hoy-hoy --- OH NO YOU DON'T! You already invaded my journals, doing your best to Scrooge up Christmas! You ain't getting back in here! SLAM!
Why how dare you! I'll have you know I'm very well-connected in this city! You'll never work in the music business again, you talentless hack! You've just made a very powerful enemy, my friend...
Phew! That was close! Well, welcome to the last update before Christmas. It's turning damn cold out there --- well it is if you're in Ireland --- so let's look at the journals and see what our writers have been preparing for us in the leadup to the big day, shall we?
LIGHT BULBS! LIGHT BULBS! GET YOUR LIGHT BULBS! HALF PRICE TODAY ONLY!
Hmm, I could do with some light bu --- what a minute! BURNS! I thought it was you! Get off my property before I have you arrested.
Oh, you can try my friend, but I have half the doughnut-eating, coffee-swilling hippos they can police in this city in my back pocket, and quite a few judges too ---
BEEDLE-BEEDLE! BEEDLE-BEEDLE! Ah, hoy-hoy? Yes this is Charles Montgomery Burns. What? Allegations of impropriety? Bribing a federal judge? What are you talking about man? All I did was ask if he had ever been to Aspen, and since I had a lodge there --- what? Yes I was under investigation for corporate corruption at the time but ... what? You can't? You do? I am? Er, excuse me just one moment ... SMITHERS!!!
Right, that's the end of him, though no doubt he'll be back, so let's get on with this while he's, ah, helping the police with their enquiries...
Anteater is bowing out for Christmas while he concentrates on his “25 best albums of the year” thread, check it out.
http://www.musicbanter.com/album-rev...ms-2013-a.html But in the meantime if you want to send him an album --- or movie --- to review he'll give it a go and no doubt post it next year in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...n-dollars.html. Happy Christmas, Ant!
Before
Briks closes down
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...seur-cave.html for Christmas (presumably) he's taking a look at the music of Danzig, with some interesting conclusions.
All that doom metal has been weighing
Engine down recently, so he's taking a break from
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...avy-music.html for a while, but before he does he's throwing out music from Thergotron and Funeral Mourning at us, and if that misses there's some Cannibal Corpse to follow!
There's something “Brand New”
in
Butthead's
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...therapy-s.html journal, so check it out.
OMG ! OMG! OMG!!!
Janszoon is back! And it's been worth waiting for! Check out the first entry in months as he gets back to chronicling
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sible-man.html with music from Rocket from the Crypt. No, go do it
now! Don't wait to read the rest of the upd --- ah, I mean, go right
after you've finished the update! But
right after, like, not ”I'll just have this sandwich”!
Fuck the sandwich!* And forget about meeting your SO to see the premiere of that new movie.
THIS is
IMPORTANT!
* = Not literally, of course. That would be just wrong on so many levels, to say nothing of unhygienic!
“The Twelve Days of Alternative” goes into overdrive this week as
Powerstars brings us music from Muse, Jellyfish, RHCP, Pearl Jam and more!
And so we're back to me. Has anyone --- anyone? -- bothered collecting and assembling my Christmas Message? No? Not one. Thought not. Oh well: more albums for me. If you do intend entering just PM me with the full message as has been coded into my journals over the last three weeks and you could win five albums of your choice. Who am I kidding? Nobody's going to do that! Still, it was fun doing it. As for the actual content of my journals? Well not surprisingly, Christmas themes abound, but they don't completely take over either of the only two journals I'm concentrating on as the big day looms. In
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html you're still being exorted to “Have yourself a Metal little Christmas”, with King Diamond putting in an appearance, and Mr Burns is trying to wreck your Christmas cheer by slagging off Wizzard's Xmas classic. There's also a review of albums by Eric Clapton and Threshold, and a new section, “A return to Childhood”.
But as ever what characterises Christmas more than anything is television, and over at
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html we're getting close to winding up the 25 worst Christmas films ever, spending more time on the Couch with that guy Trollheart, and finally pitchnig the two huge Biblical movies of the sixties against each other as “The Battle of the Classic Christs” sees “King of Kings” take on “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. Who will triumph? As if that wasn't enough I've also managed to cram in more Red Dwarf and Onedin Line. Honestly: I'm doing more stocking-stuffing than Santa over there!
As for
Unknown Soldier, he's doing a little stocking-stuffing of his own in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html, with albums from UFO and Triumph
Leaving us with
William the Bloody to close us out for Christmas, as he leaps
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ta-coffin.html once again (yeah I know I make the same reference every week, but what else can you do with a title like that?) with more Gallows and moving on to The Smiths.
Just time then to squeeze in
and though his journal is relatively new, I think I have to give it to William this week for this fine but short specimen:
Quote:
Originally Posted by William_the_Bloody
Final Thoughts:
In my old hardcore countdown thread I think I once mentioned that British punk was cursed, as it appears that every leading band in the scene implodes in one fashion or another. Be it the Sex Pistols, Discharge or Gallows. Consequently Gallows is one of those bands that only comes around once in a blue moon, as none of their peers in the British hardcore revival have been able to put out an album that comes close to rivaling Grey Britain, this includes metalcore acts like Bring Me the Horizon. I can therefore see why people are upset with the bands decision to go with a North American singer, that being said, those who are holding out for the Carter brothers to return, will be waiting a long time, as they have both stated they have no desire to return to hardcore. Quite simply put, the moment has passed. The remaining members in Gallows however, are still the guys behind the musicianship of Grey Britain, so don't write them off yet, and as for the Carter brothers...f#ck em!!! lol , just kidding I look forward to hearing stuff from their new bands.
Anyhow time for a different direction, next up The Smiths.
Page 1 Sisters of Mercy
Page 2 Blood for Blood
Page 3 Gallows
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And so we come to the end of the update. Time to head off and root out that Christmas tree from the pile of junk in the spare room and make some sort of an attempt at straightening out its branches so I can put it up.
Thanks to all who have contributed to, and read, this thread, and we'll be back on Sunday with the final update of the year. Until then, enjoy the festivities, and if you're drinking, make sure you don't drive --- very hard to hold the glass still with your hands on the wheel! Seriously, don't even think about it. Christmas is not supposed to be a time for tragedies, for you or others. Have a great Christmas, eat plenty, drink responsibly, buy decent presents and hopefully get some, and above all, be kind to one another: it's the season of goodwill, you shower of bastards!
Happy Christmas, one and all!
Nollaig Shona if you're in Ireland
Joyeux Noel if you're French (or Canadian)
Feliz Navidad to our Spanish friends
and if you don't believe, or don't celebrate Christmas, well, nothing then. Have an ordinary day.
I'll be back next Sunday, with a special extended edition for the final update of 2013, when I'll be looking at the high points of everyone's journal this year, checking out the newest additions and also awarding my own special versions of the Music Banter Awards. This is all assuming I don't eat too much turkey and have to be rushed to hospital to have my stomach pumped!
Till then,
Toodles!