Music Banter - View Single Post

ladyislingering · 01-01-2014, 10:59 AM

there are so many idiotic, shitty, "followed an exact recipe for awfulness" pop songs that play on the overhead radio at work.

I don't know any names of songs. I don't know the artists. I don't care that much to know any of this useless information because my brain is already on the brink of turning to mush just hearing the shit when I'm working.

first and foremost I really hate Michael Buble. I have never looked for a picture of him but I assume he's very small and resembles some sort of gerbil, and if you put his irritating ass up next to Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the three.

awful song 1:

all the lyrics I've made out: "I believe that I can make you scream" followed by some kind of shrill, birdlike "hey guise I can make a noise with my voice!" ear-piercing howl. No, you little pop-puppet, you can't make me scream, but you might be able to convince me to stab my fucking eardrums if I have to hear your inane screeching ever again.

awful song 2:

pretty much literally the same song, except with a ton of layering and auto-tune and some irritating wretch singing about how "anything can happen" because if you have the capability of thinking beyond bullshit cliches, you won't make it in the "music" business. People who even use the phrase "anything can happen" and think that it has any weight or meaning at all should be removed from the human race because they'll only breed idiots.

awful song 3:

this next one reminds me of a psycho bitch I met at one of my old jobs. she was singing along to it and pretty much all the lyrics are "I just want to be ok". Well, that bitch was not ok. She was a fucking psycho. There's another line in this braindead song that really gets on my nerves: "I just want to feel the day". WHAT THE HELL. DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. YOU GODDAMN CHIMPANZEE. I COULD SHOVE AN ENTIRE GAME OF SCRABBLE UP MY ASS AND SHIT BETTER LYRICS THAN THAT.

awful song 4:

it's a country song, so it's already irritating enough with the singer's southern twAAAANg but once you realize she's rhyming "water" with "daughter" it's pretty damn obvious that there's nothing going on in her skull.

awful song 5:

all the lyrics I can make out before I try to tune it out and purge my brain from all the shit it just heard: "tonight, we are young". Ok, that's nice. "So we'll set the world on fire" ... um, ok. And of course there's some kind of "let's layer all these jocktards to sound like there's a crowd of them" sound. It's really quite miserable. Why not just set the "band" on fire? You can get a new one.

awful song 6:

The lead singer sounds like he's taking a shit in the dead of summer somewhere in Arizona and hasn't had a drink of water in days. He has no vocal range (presumably because he might also be eating a burrito) and the lyrics are practically incoherent apart from "there's nothing I can do, I only wanna be with you", you know, because I guess those are the only bullshit lyrics you can come up with when you're shitting out your spine.

awful song 7:

I assume these are just a bunch of studio "musicians" with some unskilled vocal stand-ins. There's a chick and (possibly) a bunch of dudes and the lyrics really don't make any sense at all. "1, 2, 3, 4 tell me that you love me more" ... wow, did you walk up to a 5 year old and ask them to rhyme something? They made a noble contribution because it was probably all their infantile brain could come up with, and then you were stupid enough to write an equally dumb song around it.

I'm sure there's more but those are the main offenders.

01-01-2014, 10:59 AM	#241 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	there are so many idiotic, shitty, "followed an exact recipe for awfulness" pop songs that play on the overhead radio at work. I don't know any names of songs. I don't know the artists. I don't care that much to know any of this useless information because my brain is already on the brink of turning to mush just hearing the shit when I'm working. first and foremost I really hate Michael Buble. I have never looked for a picture of him but I assume he's very small and resembles some sort of gerbil, and if you put his irritating ass up next to Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the three. awful song 1: all the lyrics I've made out: "I believe that I can make you scream" followed by some kind of shrill, birdlike "hey guise I can make a noise with my voice!" ear-piercing howl. No, you little pop-puppet, you can't make me scream, but you might be able to convince me to stab my fucking eardrums if I have to hear your inane screeching ever again. awful song 2: pretty much literally the same song, except with a ton of layering and auto-tune and some irritating wretch singing about how "anything can happen" because if you have the capability of thinking beyond bullshit cliches, you won't make it in the "music" business. People who even use the phrase "anything can happen" and think that it has any weight or meaning at all should be removed from the human race because they'll only breed idiots. awful song 3: this next one reminds me of a psycho bitch I met at one of my old jobs. she was singing along to it and pretty much all the lyrics are "I just want to be ok". Well, that bitch was not ok. She was a fucking psycho. There's another line in this braindead song that really gets on my nerves: "I just want to feel the day". WHAT THE HELL. DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. YOU GODDAMN CHIMPANZEE. I COULD SHOVE AN ENTIRE GAME OF SCRABBLE UP MY ASS AND SHIT BETTER LYRICS THAN THAT. awful song 4: it's a country song, so it's already irritating enough with the singer's southern twAAAANg but once you realize she's rhyming "water" with "daughter" it's pretty damn obvious that there's nothing going on in her skull. awful song 5: all the lyrics I can make out before I try to tune it out and purge my brain from all the shit it just heard: "tonight, we are young". Ok, that's nice. "So we'll set the world on fire" ... um, ok. And of course there's some kind of "let's layer all these jocktards to sound like there's a crowd of them" sound. It's really quite miserable. Why not just set the "band" on fire? You can get a new one. awful song 6: The lead singer sounds like he's taking a shit in the dead of summer somewhere in Arizona and hasn't had a drink of water in days. He has no vocal range (presumably because he might also be eating a burrito) and the lyrics are practically incoherent apart from "there's nothing I can do, I only wanna be with you", you know, because I guess those are the only bullshit lyrics you can come up with when you're shitting out your spine. awful song 7: I assume these are just a bunch of studio "musicians" with some unskilled vocal stand-ins. There's a chick and (possibly) a bunch of dudes and the lyrics really don't make any sense at all. "1, 2, 3, 4 tell me that you love me more" ... wow, did you walk up to a 5 year old and ask them to rhyme something? They made a noble contribution because it was probably all their infantile brain could come up with, and then you were stupid enough to write an equally dumb song around it. I'm sure there's more but those are the main offenders. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.