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Old 04-05-2015, 08:34 PM   #86 (permalink)
Chula Vista
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: SoCal by way of Boston
Posts: 11,332
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Once upon a time there was a brave little sausage named Sausilio, who dreamed of becoming a beautiful woman with a penis shaped invisible kazoo. She committed genocide against all arachnids, who are responsible for Batlord's little accident where he wanted to slice off his nipples instead of his mother's nipples that he'd bled dry.

Sausilio was just masturbating on a tread mill when all hell broke loose because he left his thumb up his mother's tired and dry fist. He jerked his large and ample fingers wrapped in pink ribbon towards himself, then, with mighty vigor (his best friend), jumped off the tread mill and landed on his Great great grandmother's slimy down under three day old pair of Depends. For breakfast, she ate a sausage that had been running while masturbating. A wild Janszoon, the Dutch navigator, didn't mean to make you cry.

So, anyway, today Sausilio had accidentally cooked the greatest anal bead pie with green salsa, fava beans, and Nestle's chocolate milk. It tasted swell, according to Goofle. Suddenly there was a wild Janszoon, whose big butt was liberally leaking soiled cherry Gatorade that smelled like back sweat and Norwegian black metallers. Janszoon grabbed his enormous and engorged pickled Somali chicken and sniffed it.

'Enough with Janszoon!' he shouted to Jerry Seinfeld's corpse who was enjoying a wild Janszoon.

'Enough with cannibalism! Back to Sausilio!' yelled the old f*cking cool dude named Chula Vista who loved sausage and meatballs with melted provolone and
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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
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