lies
it's not too hard to make it through the day
Or to convince myself and everyone that I'm okay.
Perfectly placed words and a smile is all it takes
to make them believe I'm free of heartache
and I almost believe it's not just a role that I play.
I know I can't hide behind a lie forever.
Truth always finds a way to be heard.
I just fear the real me won't ever
find a place in this cruel world.
When I wake in the morning
there's an emptiness in my mind
It lasts just a second after I've opened my eyes,
And I'll stare at a room I don't recognise
Searching my memory, a clear slate is all I find
No memory of the pain I swallow everyday.
I'm innocent as I bask in the bliss of my ignorance
The second slips away and it's replaced by a moment that seems to last a lifetime
As the the truth invades my mind
Suddenly I'm paralysed by the realisation that I'm not innocent or unscathed
my soul is tainted by my crimes
The memories flood my mind
No wall of lies to keep them out.
Like a shower of shooting stars,
burning bright,
They illuminate my scars
And I remember how much the wounds once hurt
The mask on my face becomes transparent in the light,
and looking at my reflection,
I don't see the man I wish I was.
I see a man so despondent, so defeated by this life.
A man who's made mistakes and prays for forgiveness
He Longs for love but questions whether he deserves it.
I weep, but the lights have faded out
And my tears are hidden by the mask once more
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