RoxyRollah

@ Frown: Brother, I have had many conversations in my life where I have asked this intangible force why if you love me soooo much why won't you answer me? Why did you make me this way, why does it hurt to be here so bad why this an why that, but mostly why won't you answer me. I can't give you a jaw dropping empirically sound argument backing why I believe in God. But what I can tell you, is in the bible it says ""Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine." (this one of my favorite lines in the bible bro.) because it means he knows you, he made you, he called you by name, and he wants you to feel that light, and not live another day in darkness. What good is it to him if you are lost, lonely, and living in darkness, how are you going to be a living walking talking testament to his mind bending abilities to take nothing and turn it into something. I get it. Trust me. I do. But I have been physically knocked on the ground by his presence and felt it inside me. In my heart, and vibrating through every extremity this is a trip that no hallucinogen has never been able to replicate. And I still struggle with apathy, and depression, and all the hellish **** that goes with life, but the will to get up, and not give up, and stand up and look up is more powerful than the will to condemn myself to a hell that doesn't have to be.

Like ok with everything that has happened to me in the last 6 months that was painful and life shattering, not one time, did I denounce him, curse him, or deny him. I asked why not me? And I ask that everyday. And that alone has left enough fight and light inside of my spirit to not give up and even induced a change in my thoughts to where I needed to be kinder to people more loving, kindness costs nothing my nigga sprinkle that **** everywhere, because all we have is eachother man, and the goal is to reach one and teach one. So we can get where we are supposed to go together, all of us, every race color and creed because we were meant for so much more than this.

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