Two down, two to go. The next one is yet another symbol we all remember from school, and could, I suppose, in some circumstances, be seen as a negative compared to the (ostensibly) positive symbols used on his first two albums. Yeah.
Divide Year: 2016
I’m sure it didn’t divide his fans, but is it likely to add to my contempt for his music or multiply it, or even divide it in two? All right, that’s enough maths puns. Let’s get the bloody thing over with before I start drawing Venn diagrams or something.
Oh no! A stupid poxy rap right off. This ain’t going to be good is it? Well “Dive” is a decent bluesy ballad and the presence of Clapton on guitar is certainly welcome, but then I realise I’ve heard “Shape of You” before, and its rhythm has really annoyed me without knowing who to blame. Now I know who to blame. I haven’t heard “Perfect” before, but given his supposed propensity for subtly ripping other artists off on occasion, I feel I know this melody but I can’t place it. “Galway Girl” is just embarrassing (check out Steve Earle’s for a much better song, nothing to do with this one) and the fiddles and pipes just add to the triteness. As we say here, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
“Happier” is better though it’s quickly subsumed back into the muck and dross by “New Man” which sounds like Backstreet Boys trying to do hip-hop or something. And again there’s a rip-off as “How Would You Feel” has the melodic fingerprints of Van Morrison’s “Have I Told You Lately” all over it. Yeah, pretty poor album that once again broke all chart records and apparently every single ****ing track got into the top twenty! Every. Single. One. That’s what happens when people are able to buy tracks singly instead of shelling out for the album.
I really don’t want to go for this last one, but **** it, in for a cent, huh?
No. 6 Collaborations Project Year: 2019
Bringing, I guess, his interest in hip-hop and R&B to its full climax, this is, as the title suggests, a collaboration effort with various other artists, some from the world of pop (Justin Bieber, Bruno Mars) and hip-hop (50 Cent, Travis Scott, Eminem among them) and so I couldn’t imagine it really being a Sheeran album, but I suppose it’s important to listen to it as part of his discography, and considering it’s his most recent too. I really couldn’t be bothered namechecking all the stars who contribute to this, or who plays or sings on what: if you want to find out then check the Wiki page.
Of course, this also hit number one on both sides of the Atlantic, which is not at all surprising when you consider that in addition to the legions of Sheeran fans it would also appeal to fans of each/all of the contributors, so it was a shameless grab for sales based on reputations. Is it any good? Hard to say really: there are so many different styles, singers and types of music on it that it might as well be titled “Hip-Hop and R&B Greatest Hits” edited by and written by Ed Sheeran Definitely the album of his that I have the least interest in hearing, and the one I expect to like least. It’s also the one with the most tracks (fifteen) but I’m thankful for small mercies as they’re all relatively short.
No doubt fans of or people familiar with Stormzy, Khalid, 50 Cent and all the rest will like it, and to be honest, the writing apart, I don’t see any real input from Sheeran and he might as well not be there on most of the tracks, which I think kind of defeats the purpose of the album. But then, do I care? I do not. I see he’s shown as performing “all vocals”, though of course that doesn’t include those contributed by the guests, which for me tend to, each time, take over the particular track they’re used on, but hey ho.
Okay, “Best Part of Me” isn’t bad, kind of goes back to his style from the first two albums. Ish. The next song, the one with Bieber (two members of the hate list for the price of one!) reflects my attitude towards this album, and, mostly, towards Sheeran in general. Man, it’s ****ing awful. That ****ing chicken-clucking sound at the end of the chorus. Shut the **** up! Okay I’ve basically hated just about everything on this. The metal-like guitar intro to “Blow” was surprising and welcome, but man is it way too little too late. I am
out of here!