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Old 12-14-2019, 05:31 AM   #88 (permalink)
Marie Monday
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Cute Post Malone's mom
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I disagree that the poem has to be more cryptic. Cryptic poems are cool, but making it less easily intelligible does not make it better. I partly agree with hawk though: it is a bit too straightforward, in the sense that it's not much more than a normal description of this anxiety. Think about what would distinguish a poem from normal text to make it special: interesting play and experiments with language, apt and beautiful methaphors, original ways of saying things that are difficult to express. It's cool that you're doing this, keep on writing!
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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