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Originally Posted by goldendoodle
@Hawk: Sure, if you view it that way. It's not about discussing the PERSON so much as, like, pointing out relationships that contributed to some current neurotic habit/fear or paranoia/whatever you may deal with. (Like for instance I still get SUPER NERVOUS and fearful when a very loud rowdy drunk near me is binge drinking beer or something, because both the smell and the sound of the person crashing around viscerally brings up memories of an alcoholic ex I had who became somewhat physically aggressive when with me in private while drunk. So I've had to explain that before after being asked why I suddenly froze and disassociated when the aforementioned type of person entered a small bar we were in)
It's completely reasonable.
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That’s different than doing a full archeological dig looking for patterns.
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Imo it's just more insecurity to be uncomfortable hearing about exes.
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Nah. It’s insecure to be all wantin to know. One way or the other everybody is going to leave you. Or you them. If there’s a good story then fine but doing a background check is nowhere. So is turning in your relationship resume.