Christmas comes but once a year - thankfully, no matter what Roy Wood may wish - and this year it’s going to be tougher than ever, with lockdowns, isolations, fears about Covid and possibly much-reduced family gatherings if any at all. A lot to be sad and worried about, but like every other holiday we’ll make it work. You could do worse than stay here with me, where there is absolutely zero chance of infection, where it’s warm and friendly, and where you’re all always welcome.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I have to say that. The lawyers are worried this year about excessive lawsuits, so even though I hate you all, grumble grumble mutter mutter come on in... if ye must. Don't forget to wipe your feet! I said don't forget to - ah, sod it!
Anyway (ahem)...
So this year, why not leave the virus outside where it belongs and spend
As part of this special seasonal feature, I want to look into the various excellent animated Christmas specials from three of the shows I feel do them best, and which I'm most familiar with:
The Simpsons, American Dad and Family Guy. With stunning originality, I’m going to pick the twelve I feel are best and feature them here in a little thing I like to call
It’s become something of a tradition on
The Simpsons to have a Christmas episode, although unlike the likes of
Dr. Who, you can’t be guaranteed one every season. Even so, with thirty seasons and counting that would probably be enough to feature all
Simpsons Christmas episodes on their own, but that might be boring, especially to the few among you who may not enjoy the show. Of course, you may not like the other ones either, but at least you have a better chance of seeing something here you may be interested in if there’s a wider spread of programmes.
So each day I’ll choose one from a different show, try to mix it up as best I can. With
The Simpsons having been the major force in “adult” animation for decades now though, it’s clear that there will be, shall we say, more than one offering from America’s favourite cartoon family. I’ll try not to let Homer and Co. take this over though. I’ll give him some donuts, that’ll keep him happy.
So we'll be starting with this.
Episode title: “Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire”
Series: The Simpsons
Season: One
First transmitted: December 17 1989
Written by: Mimi Pond
Although this was the first episode ever screened of the show proper (leaving aside the shorts on Tracey Ullman’s show which provided the springboard for the most successful animated show in history), here in Ireland the first screened was “Call of the Simpsons” (seventh in the actual running order). Why do you care? You don’t: but I just want to point out that, unlike everyone else, this episode was not my first experience of the show. But anyway, it basically introduces all the characters - to those who had not watched Tracey Ullman - as well as supporting ones, but really there are three main ones, which I’ll get into shortly.
If this was the first time you ever - and I mean ever - heard of or saw America’s real First Family, the first characters you see are Marge and Homer, who are driving to see their kids perform in the Christmas pageant at the school. We also see, peripherally, Maggie, the baby, in a kind of starfish costume, presumably to keep her warm against the December chill. Next up is a man who will be the bane of the Bad Boy of the Simpsons, it’s Principal Skinner, who introduces the next act, in which we get to meet Lisa, the middle child, and then Bart, the eldest, who establishes his character right away by replacing the chorus of “Jingle Bells” with lyrics which have now become hilariously familiar. Skinner is not impressed and pulls him from the line.
It is the first episode, so no criticism, but it’s still interesting to note that none of the children, nor indeed any of the adults in the audience other than Homer, Marge and Maggie, are in any way distinguishable or ever seen again; they’re generic character drawings and, somewhat like the early episodes of Family Guy, it seem they’re seat-fillers, placeholders to make up a crowd scene until Groening and his team has time to work on other, actual characters. Homer betrays his boredom, moaning “How many grades does this school have?”
Back home, Marge is writing her Christmas cards while the kids finalise their letters to Santa. Marge’s letter-writing is a clever device, so early in the series, in which the writers get to inform us about other things happening without having to play them out. These include the fact that the Simpsons’ cat, Snowball, was run over and has been replaced by Snowball II, Homer’s father, Abe or Abraham Simpson (though just referred here to as Grampa) is introduced and Lisa is seen to be a straight-A student while Bart, we hear, is, well, not. Homer’s short fuse temper is demonstrated as he growls at Marge to hurry up and finish her letter, and then demands to know where the extension cord for the Christmas lights is, but he’s slapped down, verbally, as we see, and will, as the series winds on, that Marge is more than a match for him and takes no nonsense from him.
Lisa’s interest in ponies is explored, as her list contains nothing but “a pony” several times, while Marge tries to explain, not that they can’t afford it (as Lisa, being only eight years old, still believes in Santa, or claims to) while Bart wants a tattoo. Marge and Homer’s views on this differ somewhat. While his mother tells him that under no circumstances may he get a tattoo (Bart is not as naive as his sister and knows their presents come from the parents - “There’s only one big fat guy in this house who brings us presents and his name ain’t Santa”) Homer declares that if Bart wants one he can pay for it himself.
The phone rings and we hear, but do not yet see, Marge’s sisters, Patti and Selma, who obviously don’t care for Homer, and the feeling is mutual. Another person Homer will have problems with is introduced, as we meet his neighbour, Ned Flanders, a real god-botherer who can’t understand people who aren’t Christians. Homer’s poor efforts at decorating the outside of their house are put to shame by Flanders’ extravagant display and Homer hates him for it, feeling he has been humiliated in front of his children. Marge later produces “the big jar”, their savings put away over the year for presents and other Christmas sundries and the next day they’re off shopping. Bart, defying his parents’ wishes, and thinking Marge will appreciate the fact that it says “mother”, goes and gets a tattoo.
And now we come to one of the greatest, not only Simpsons characters but surely in all of animation - he’s fond of a smoke, likes a good joke - why he’s worth ten times what he earns! You know his name: (and he is NOT pleased to meet you) it’s Mr. Burns! Oh yes. Charles Montgomery “Monty” Burns, feared and ancient owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, where Homer works, a Scrooge figure if ever there was one, advises his staff there will be no Christmas bonus this year. Homer thanks heaven for the big jar! Marge catches Bart before the tattoo is finished and drags him out of the parlour, furious. She tells Homer the Christmas money will now have to go on the procedure to remove the tattoo, so Bart has ruined Christmas for the family. Won’t be the last time.
Marge thinks things will be all right. The big jar may be empty, but there’s still Homer’s bonus to come. Homer has not told her the bad news yet, and now he feels he can’t, as it will be him that is ruining the holiday season for his family. Not that it’s his fault, be he sees himself as the breadwinner and so takes on the responsibility. As he mopes outside, Flanders’ Santa’s low “HO HO HO” seems to mock him. In bed that night, Homer tries to break the news but looking in Marge’s trusting eyes he feels he can’t, and instead hits on a rather ridiculous plan: to do the Christmas shopping himself, getting the cheapest possible presents for everyone so that the meagre funds he has can stretch further. Colliding with Flanders and his kid his cheapskate choices are revealed, which does not help matters.
Now we move to the scene of a place which will become Homer’s second home, Moe’s bar, where Moe asks Homer why he’s so down. When he explains, his best friend Barney Gumble, an inveterate drunk, comes in dressed as Santa. He’s been working as a department store Santa Claus and Homer wonders if he might do the same to earn some extra cash. So he enrols in the training programme and starts his job, though according to his boss he’ll get “not a dime till Christmas Eve” so has to wait to be paid. Inevitably, he runs into Bart, to whom he has to tell the truth about his bonus. Bart laughs at the idea of his father working as a mall Santa, but then takes it a little more seriously. Oh yeah, we also meet, unfortunately, the annoying Millhouse Van Houten, Bart’s best friend. I hate that guy. Nobody likes Miihouse.
Now we get to meet the illustrious sisters in person, as Patti and Selma, twins, visit Marge and complain that there is no Christmas tree in the Simpson house. So Homer decides to go and get one. He can’t afford one though, so goes into the woods to cut one down, leading to the question as to why the Simpsons’ Christmas tree has a birdhouse in it?
Payday arrives, also known as Christmas Eve, but after many deductions Homer is left with a mere thirteen dollars in his paycheque. Barney tells him he has a sure thing in the Springfield Downs dog races and he should bet on the dog. Homer goes but at the last minute changes his bet when he hears the name of one of the dogs is “Santa’s Little Helper”, and thinks it’s a sign. Of course the dog Barney recommended wins and Santa’s Little Helper not only loses, but it kicked out by its owner. Homer and Bart take him home, and he becomes the family dog, allowing Homer to give his family, against all odds, the best Christmas present they have ever had.
Notes
As an introductory episode this really gives you a lot of information. Not only are we presented with the Simpsons family and a few peripheral characters, but we’re also apprised of how each of them react. Homer, who will turn out to be even more popular than Bart and who will represent the whole Simpsons franchise, is fat and lazy, somewhat ignorant, tries to be the man of the house but really is just a big softy; the house is run by Marge, and, to some smaller extent, Lisa. Homer is not very bright but his heart is in the right place, and his perceived lower position on the employment (and some would also say, evolutionary) scale is a constant annoyance to him, especially when compared to his saintly neighbour. Marge is the archetypal long-suffering wife, trying to hold it all together both financially and emotionally, stronger than she looks, the glue which keeps the family together. Lisa takes after her mother - strong, independent, smart, opinionated - while Bart is his father’s son in every way. Maggie, at this stage, is entirely one-dimensional, but we will grow to know and love her.
The other characters, though given little screen time, are still well fleshed out. We see the beginnings of the battle to be waged for thirty years between Principal Skinner and Bart, the disdain in which Homer’s sisters hold her husband (and he them) and the somewhat doddery demeanour of Grampa Simpson. Finally, though his toady has but one line in this episode, we bear witness to the birth, series-speaking, of the shadow that constantly falls across Springfield, and especially Homer’s world, and which will, paradoxically perhaps, endear Monty Burns to us all. Truly it will be said: an episode with Burns in it is guaranteed to be a good one.
There’s a perhaps refreshing lack of preaching in this, a Christmas episode. I don’t think any mention is made of God, any god, other than one reference Bart makes to miracles, and even Santa is not in it, other than as a department store employee. Even Flanders holds back what will become his gushing about the Almighty, which possibly underscores the idea that this is a pilot episode, and the writers weren’t ready to sacrifice, or even stalk any sacred cows just yet. Later, of course, there would be a massacre, as everything and anything became fair game as the show’s popularity grew, then exploded. As we all know, when you’re a hit you can say almost anything you like, and when your show is a satire or comedy, you can really get in the sort of digs you can’t in drama or other types of writing.
One thing that is very skilfully handled here is the old-head-on-young-shoulders attitude Lisa exhibits to adults, talking to them (one might even say talking down to them) in their own language. Example: when Patti talks badly about Homer, Lisa makes this plea:
“I wish you wouldn’t. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he’s the only father I have. Therefore he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.” Patti’s response? “Go watch your cartoon show, dear.”
One other interesting point: though he will become Homer's best friend in time, an almost literal Barney to Homer's Fred Flintstone (which can't be a coincidence; his surname is almost the same: Gumble) Barney at this time comes across as at best a casual acquaintance, calling Homer "Simpson" as if he barely knows him.