"How do I import mangoes from Malaysia into Ireland?"
"You can't. They're banned by law."
"Do I need some sort of licence?"
"No, there is no licence. You simply can't bring them in."
"How do I get a licence?"
"There is no licence for you to get. You can't get a licence to do something illegal."
"But I need to import these mangoes!"
"You can't."
"Maybe some other agent can help me."
"No they can't. We're all bound by Irish law."
"How soon can I get a licence?"
"You can't."
and so on.
Took a half hour and a call from Customs and Excise to convince him that he had wasted his money; instead of checking first if there were any barriers to importing those ****ing mangoes, he bought them and then (unsurprisingly) the shipper wouldn't refund him.
I know where I would have liked to have stuck his ****ing mangoes.
I reckon they rotted, somewhat like his brain.
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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