Quote:
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Originally Posted by hobojesus
I'm lost inside you
like so many others
Wish I knew a way out
so I could run for cover
I feel so used
but I love that feeling
It gives me coshure
til my mind needs healing
Desperation
I like to call it love
You are my trophy
I fall into you, shoved
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Ignoring my own bias for rhyme, this isn't bad but im going to hammer the abstracts again. People get pissed and say everything can't be specific and I agree, but a little more substance is always appreciated. To me writting this abstract tells me you saw this issue on television, not that you experienced it. Now whether thats true or not is irrelvent, let me know what
you felt.
I don't know what coshure is but the idea of liking being used, I want to know why you like being used, what did being used give you that you liked?
Piggybacking on what Crowquill said, shoved maybe put there to rhyme (which I don't care for) but I love that idea. if you just said "I fall into you" it would be cliche and trite. But this seems to denote an unwillingness to be that in love, or maybe not love at all but rather, some external force makig you feel this way. I of course would like to know whats pushing you, but the concept is great none-the-less.