My heart bleeds for you. As I look at my bus pass.
I know you're only kidding with your last remark, but this reminds me of Spinal Tap: "We're very big in Bulgaria. And the other aria. In fact, I can't think of anyone who has benefitted more from the breakup of the Soviet Union than us."
"Uh, except maybe the Bulgarian people?"
"Oh. Oh yeah, them, I guess."
(not exact quote but close I think)