I've been freaking out a lot lately, and I've been embarrassing myself during said freak outs. I used to be better at handling stress and dealing with stuff, but one thing set me off, and today I just straight up said "Nobody gives a **** about me, I'm tired of feeling worthless, just ****ing get rid of me already" among other things at work. I'm really tired of not being a stable and successful person in life, and just feel like I'm trapped in a situation where I'm miserable, and make everyone around me miserable. I just snap, and before I know it I'm acting like crazy *******, it's painful and ****ing embarrassing. I don't tell people I have suicidal thoughts except for my family and therapist, and I had to call my mom and tell her I might have to check into a hospital because I really wanted to hurt myself earlier and she had to talk me down from doing anything stupid.
|