Quote:
Originally Posted by SGR
You're too nice! You've got nothing to apologize for. Your point is a valid one. Toxicity and spitefulness will drive some new (and old) members away, to some degree. In the early days of the internet (think late '90s), people would communicate crassly and often times vulgarly. There were much fewer rules than there are now. To that extent, we carry on the tradition in some ways here. Other parts of the internet are more strict in their moderation approach, some subreddits even having rules about not being mean to people.
If every member on here was as nice as you, we'd certainly be a more welcoming place, no question about it. But on the other hand, a little antagonism now and then livens this place up and even if emotions get involved, it sometimes results in a more productive or interesting discussion. I guess there's a balance and a trade-off with it, ya know? I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't want our moderators to crack down on members being mean to each other - at least not with passing snide remarks you know? If it got to the point where it was sustained and continuous targeting of a member, that would be another story. I think I'm rambling a bit now, so I'll just leave it there.
EDIT: As others have noted, Marie interjecting in threads that are getting heated/personal with "Don't be a dick" and not outright threatening to ban people is probably a good balance, and that's we seem to be at now.
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I agree entirely with this. And I'm glad you bring these things up, ribbons, that's a good thing to do. I think we all just try to find the balance by gauging what each member likes and what they can handle, at least that's how I moderate and I notice that's how others post too. So that's why talk between Charles and jwb would be less heavily moderated than interactions with naive new people, for instance. But if new people notice the rougher interactions between others some of them may still be put off. (And of course if I ever make a mistake in what someone is comfortable with then please tell me)
also, I do think it's possible to make snide remarks or be impolite now and then without being toxic, so the former is no excuse for the latter. A line should be drawn between the two and it's good when people point out when they feel that it gets crossed.