You're right. It comes across to me as a love song (as such) written by a band who have no idea how to write a love song. I can picture the scene:
In the record company's office, record exec, false smile, all teeth and sharp aftershave, perfectly combed hair.
Exec: "The lads love you guys Suggs, but it's the other side of the demo we're concerned about."
Suggs: "Demo?"
Exec: "Demographic. The people who buy your records."
Suggs: "Right. Kids love us. Love our antics. We're funny."
Exec: "Yeah but that's only one side of it. It's the girls, you see. Girls don't really buy into all this baggy trousers, house of fun, my girl's mad at me deal. We need something, well, something for the ladies."
Suggs: "?"
Exec: "How about a love song?"
Suggs: "A love song? Man, we're Madness, not ABBA! We pull hair and eat dirt and make life tough for chemists. We dance and jump around and do comical things. How we gonna write a love song?"
Exec: "You want the girls on board, that's what you need to do. Get it done."
Back at the Madness HQ: Everyone is rushing around, having fun, playing the fool. One guy bounces by on a pogo-stick, another rides in a tiny clown car. Two guys are pulling a huge cracker. When it parts, a large cardboard sign falls out with the word BANG! written on it.
Suggs: "Guys! Guys! We have to write a love song!"
Band member: "Love song? What do they think we are? Lenin and McCarthy? We're Madness, Suggs, yeah? We write about pulling hair and eating dirt, and wearing those trousers that are... um.. what's the word? Don't quite fit..."
Other member: "Loose?"
Another member: "Wrong size?"
Suggs (sighing): "Baggy?"
Band member: "Yeah! Baggy! That's it. Trousers that are baggy. That's what people love us for."
Member: "And pulling hair."
Other member: "And eating dirt."
Suggs: "Yeah, well, we got to do this. Now let's see... love is, love is, love is great? No. No no no. Love is cool, don't be a fool. Hmm. Possibie, maybe. Love is great. Love is better than great. Love is the - OW! Guys! Stop throwing those banana cream pies! I'm trying to work here! Oh that's it! You're gonna get it! Here I come!"
Some time later, back at the drawing board...
Suggs: "Love is good. No, did that. Love is better than... love is the best? Oh right yeah that's good. Love is the best, wear a string vest. No, no girls don't wear string vests, do they? Love is the best, get out your bre - ah, no, don't think we can do that. Love is the best, take a guess. Meh. Oh come on Suggs! You can do this! It's only love. It has to be love. It MUST be love. Ah! It must be love - what rhymes with love? Oh yeah: love. It must be love, love, need another word... love. Must be love, love, love. Take two they're small, as me da used to say. Must be love, love, love. Must be love, love, love. Love is the best, give it a rest. Oh come on! Love is the best, get it off your chest - no that could get us in trouble too couldn't it. I need one more line. One more. Nothing more. Just the one line. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Hey...
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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