Could have died tonight.
Sitting upstairs watching telly when the smoke alarms started going crazy. Ran down, expecting I had accidentally left the oven on. Oven was off. Checked all sockets, looked for smoke, fire, nothing. Tried to switch off the alarms but I think I accidentally ****ing self-tested them, hitting them with a broom handle to try to shut them off. Went on for what seemed ages, was probably like 5-10 minutes.
After they went off, checked all other sockets, felt cables, looking for anything that might be hot. Nothing. Concluded some sort of short-circuit in one of them.
Earlier that day, we had received a replacement battery for the one in Karen's hoist that was not working, the backup one. I realised that, though it had been plugged in over 12 hours now, the indicator still showed red, which was odd. I also had been getting an odd smell throughout the day, one I couldn't tie down but which reminded me of burning, like maybe plastic or rubber. Leaned down to check the battery, nearly burned my hand! Disconnected it, picked it very gingerly up, smelled at the contact. Could smell burning. Switched off the socket, took the battery outside to cool down. An hour later it was still hot.
I now realise that the alarms, which are activated by heat and not smoke, went off because the battery was "charging" right underneath one, and had I left it charging overnight it probably would have exploded, most likely setting fire to Karen's room and presumably killing her, or maybe released acidic vapour (do batteries do that?) - either way it would not have been good.
I'm shocked the medical appliance company could release a dodgy battery into the delivery pool. I'll be calling them on Monday, but I have put in a call to their emergency dept for someone to come out and look at the battery.
A very close call, and bloody terrifying. Had I not checked the battery I might have left it overnight - probably would - and that would have been that. I'm shaking, I don't mind telling you.