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Thread: Heaven in Haze
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Old 06-08-2006, 11:54 PM   #27 (permalink)
explosions-in-my-pants
angel of tragic days
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeppelinAir
heres mine, still rough though,

Heaven in Haze


Life it seems may drift away in a cloud of dreams haze,
Thoughts of death and hate fills his mind,
Trying to find his way out of this nightmares maze,
Always seeking what you cant find,

Picture of your love faded away in the word from the haze,
Sorrow strike your image of Shangri-la,
As you lose his way the maze of haze,

The pain makes him drop down and cry,
Just to scream why me oh god why me,
Image of happiness drift away in the cloud of haze,
All hope is lost through the open eye,

Through the dark he sees the light,
While the shadows tear at his soul,
Feels the pain of his wound below,
Then the voice says come with me,
And find what you seek,
His eyes see the gates and the darkness fades.
Clinched maybe, but many song writers are like that when they write yet still have amazing hits.

I don't like how you use Maze with Haze, its pushing it, when it comes to use of words. The name of the song its self is really good. I think you need to work on the chourse a little more.. I'm not sure which really is the chourse actually.

and Bill stop being so mean, I'm sure you were new here once.. take a easy would you?
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