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Urban Hat€monger ? · 09-21-2008, 12:23 PM

22 : Pearl Jam

Right , I think i've held this one back as long as I can.

I have a theory about Pearl Jam.
You know how it was discovered that Milli Vanilli didn't play on any of their own records and that it was a bunch of studio musicians. Well I think that Pearl Jam do this to. I think somewhere sitting in a recording studio in Seattle is a bunch of musicians in their 50s & 60s churning out this stuff while the Pearl Jam you see playing this stuff are just a front. It's the only solution I can think of as to how a band can sound so middle aged and boring right from their first album. I think sometime around 1991 these men were looking for an outlet for their music , cottoned on to the grunge thing and though 'Hey , lets just pull 5 bums off the street to play this stuff . Dress them up in scruffy clothes to appeal to the kids and they'll never notice the difference'.

To me Pearl Jam albums are just a vaccuum that just sucks up any enjoyment you can get listening to music. Just 5 boring people , looking bored making boring music for other boring people. I don't see any excitement anywhere. I mean Joy Division wrote dreary music about dreary subject matter but they did it with an intensity that grabs you by the throat Radiohead did it too but they did it in an innovative way. I just get the impression Pearl Jam are such a right-on band that they wouldn't take a risk if their life depended on it for fear of upsetting somebody.

Ahhh , their right-on credentials. I thought REM & Micheal Stipe were bad for this sort of thing but Pearl Jam take the fucking biscuit. You get the impression if Eddie Vedder trod on an ant by accident he'd write a fucking song about it then afterwards launch a series of concerts entitled 'Ant Aid' trying to stop segregation and race wars between red ants & black ants.

I remember having a conversation with a friend a few years ago where I was saying to him how dissapointed I was with what the Super Furry Animals were doing these days and how I thought it was a bit dull compared to their first couple of albums. He replied to me 'How the hell do you think I feel , I'm a bloody Pearl Jam fan'. This is a man who spent half of the 90s trying to get me to listen to Ten , Vs & Vitology on a regular basis. If he feels this way is there any hope for anybody?

I can see no redeeming qualities in this band whatsoever and I blame them for being one of the reasons Grunge turned out to be so bloody awful after a promising start. You can see the decline the moment they shit out the Ten album and sold however million copies. From that moment all grunge was going to be was record companies signing shit grunge acts trying to recreate that success. I have no idea how this band remains so huge , but then again you have to take into consideration that of the 13 million copies Ten sold about 11.5 or something was in the U.S. alone , and when you look at all the other shit that sells huge amounts in the U.S. alone and shit all around the rest of the world you then have your answer.

09-21-2008, 12:23 PM	#975 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	22 : Pearl Jam Right , I think i've held this one back as long as I can. I have a theory about Pearl Jam. You know how it was discovered that Milli Vanilli didn't play on any of their own records and that it was a bunch of studio musicians. Well I think that Pearl Jam do this to. I think somewhere sitting in a recording studio in Seattle is a bunch of musicians in their 50s & 60s churning out this stuff while the Pearl Jam you see playing this stuff are just a front. It's the only solution I can think of as to how a band can sound so middle aged and boring right from their first album. I think sometime around 1991 these men were looking for an outlet for their music , cottoned on to the grunge thing and though 'Hey , lets just pull 5 bums off the street to play this stuff . Dress them up in scruffy clothes to appeal to the kids and they'll never notice the difference'. To me Pearl Jam albums are just a vaccuum that just sucks up any enjoyment you can get listening to music. Just 5 boring people , looking bored making boring music for other boring people. I don't see any excitement anywhere. I mean Joy Division wrote dreary music about dreary subject matter but they did it with an intensity that grabs you by the throat Radiohead did it too but they did it in an innovative way. I just get the impression Pearl Jam are such a right-on band that they wouldn't take a risk if their life depended on it for fear of upsetting somebody. Ahhh , their right-on credentials. I thought REM & Micheal Stipe were bad for this sort of thing but Pearl Jam take the fucking biscuit. You get the impression if Eddie Vedder trod on an ant by accident he'd write a fucking song about it then afterwards launch a series of concerts entitled 'Ant Aid' trying to stop segregation and race wars between red ants & black ants. I remember having a conversation with a friend a few years ago where I was saying to him how dissapointed I was with what the Super Furry Animals were doing these days and how I thought it was a bit dull compared to their first couple of albums. He replied to me 'How the hell do you think I feel , I'm a bloody Pearl Jam fan'. This is a man who spent half of the 90s trying to get me to listen to Ten , Vs & Vitology on a regular basis. If he feels this way is there any hope for anybody? I can see no redeeming qualities in this band whatsoever and I blame them for being one of the reasons Grunge turned out to be so bloody awful after a promising start. You can see the decline the moment they shit out the Ten album and sold however million copies. From that moment all grunge was going to be was record companies signing shit grunge acts trying to recreate that success. I have no idea how this band remains so huge , but then again you have to take into consideration that of the 13 million copies Ten sold about 11.5 or something was in the U.S. alone , and when you look at all the other shit that sells huge amounts in the U.S. alone and shit all around the rest of the world you then have your answer. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.