Quote:
Originally Posted by darkcornerinthecloset
Ironic how I hide who I am [9]
yet broadcast it to the world [7]
Is it not obvious if you [8]
open up your eyes and minds? [7]
We stand dead center in the middle of the stage [12]
People surround us but no one sits to watch the show [13]
Empty seats but people mill around onstage [11]
they don't even look up at the actors [10]
trying their hardest to be what they're not [10]
In ripped and faded and dirty clothes [9]
I stand beside the well-dressed mother****ers [11]
Yelling and screaming to be heard [8]
No one hears over the sound of [8]
lies ****ing LIES [4]
No one ever hears what I have to say [10]
because the lies cover my sobs when I cry [11]
And they don't notice how wrong we are together [12]
because they notice nothing outside of their own farce [13]
And that may be for the best [7]
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Why would you do almost nothing to this and then post it again? How much time do you spend on these? How much effort do you put into this? Poetry is not supposed to be just rhyming and making a general point you know.
Want to improve? Here, I have challenge for you: Write a four stanza poem about what it feels like to fly and nothing else. Not your opinions, not your life, just what it would feel like to fly, that's it. Have exactly four lines in each stanza. Have twenty to twenty-five syllables in each stanza, about five to six for every line in a stanza. Never use the word 'fly' in it. The amount of time that takes you, IMO, is how long it should take to write a half-decent poem.