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Old 08-12-2009, 10:05 AM   #23 (permalink)
VEGANGELICA
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
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Hi, Shivs,
You asked about what I meant when I was describing the physical structure of your poem about prostitution.

One thing I noticed was that you used a lot of rhyming as well as assonance (assonance being when the vowel sounds of two words rhyme). For example, in this stanza (group of 6 lines) below, the words "us" and "lust" rhyme using assonance, while "lust" and "must" is a perfect rhyme (the words differ only by the first letter):

Quote:
Mating season comes upon us
Big queen bee will now sell fake lust
I search for the flower,
I'm trapped in the hive,
Survive for the nectar
For the nectar we must
I also commented on the number of lines in each group of lines, or stanza: you use a group for 4 lines, then a group of 6 lines, then another group of 6 lines, and then you repeat this again by using 4, 6, and 6 lines, to create a pattern. I like the fact that there is structure to the poem.

So, hopefully what I wrote all makes sense now! --Erica
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Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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