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Final question (out of curiosity), what were you envisioning as the realm of sin? I thought this was an interesting phrase because #1 it raises the question of whether there is sin and what it is, and #2 whether the dance in which people blindly participate is actually what is sinful (if one believes in sin).
--Erica
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That question can be included in the meaning of the line. A lot of the conservative fundamentalists that I've observed seem to live life the way they were taught to live it...ie. the steps of the dance. If these people also happen to be close minded, anything outside of these steps appears to be sinful. By carefully staying in step, they are supposedly keeping themselves out of that realm of sinfullness. However, because the dance in this song is controlling and hypnotic, the participants lose the ability to think for themselves. If you can't think for yourself, how are you to decide what is sinful and what is not?
As far as mixing metaphors, well that is definetelly one of my shortcomings as a writer. I tend to go on little tangents (both in prose and poetry writing) and end up on a different thought altogether than when I started. I think "hearts of tin" works because it emphasizes the mechanical aspect of the dance...but the lining and sheet probably dont. perhaps if i used curtains or costumes instead? or even a wall of people? This world of the dance creates a kind of bubble around the dancers, so i want the image of breaking through it without confusing listeners by changing ideas.
As for Grand Jete...I used it as a forced rhyme originally so thats why I edited it out. Does anyone else see it as a memorable part of the chorus that catches the listeners ear?