Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamar Cole
This love runs on emotion.
This love is fueled by devotion.
This love floats on feelings.
Higher than a cathedral ceiling.
This love soars on the breeze of monogamy.
Two hearts in perfect harmony.
This love is you.
This love is me.
Together, forever through eternity.
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Hi Lamar,
I see you like rhyming poetry and your topic of being in love with feeling in love continues. One recommendation I have for this poem is, since you are using perfect rhymes at the end of most lines, to also rhyme "feelings" perfectly with the word at the end of the next line.
For example, you could write:
"This love floats on
feelings
higher than catheral
ceilings"
without sacrificing the meaning yet at the same time making the end words rhyme perfectly. What do you feel about this suggestion? Since your poems deal with the perfect, idealized vision of love, I'd say, I feel it would be appropriate to have all the words at the end of the lines rhyme perfectly as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seltzer
Sorry, my post was pretty ambiguous. I was referring to the thread merging, not the poems.
If someone blindly offloads their poetry into this subforum without interacting with anyone else and without reading the rules which specify that this section mandates one thread per user, I won't think twice about dumping all their posts in one thread and slapping on an amusing title.
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Oh, Seltzer! So it was *you* who slapped on the amusing title! I was trying to figure out why someone who writes love poems would entitle the thread "Llama's Licentious Lollogies," but it all makes perfect sense now, and the misshapen pieces of the universe have snapped satisfyingly into place!
--Veg