I got really drunk at a party and ran around reciting verses from the bible because I claimed I was the second coming of Christ. I even lectured my friend WHILE she was having sex, telling her that she was living in sin and that if she stopped I would save her. Even called some friends at 2am-ish to tell them that I would take them to heaven with me.
As the night progressed, my friends played a game with me that involved threatening to burn my eyes out, and slapping my ass. And I tried to spear someone with a tiki torch because they stole my shoe and it was a crime against God himself.
The night ended with me getting wrapped up in a dog chain and I thought the dog was trying to kill me via strangulation with the chain.
This is what happens when you're the only person drinking at a party. And my friends tell the story to absolutely everyone.
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So here's to living life miserable.
And here's to all the lonely stories that I've told.
Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow.
Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle.
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