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Old 06-09-2010, 01:08 PM   #48 (permalink)
DearJenny's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Metro Detroit, MI
Posts: 1,325

I got really drunk at a party and ran around reciting verses from the bible because I claimed I was the second coming of Christ. I even lectured my friend WHILE she was having sex, telling her that she was living in sin and that if she stopped I would save her. Even called some friends at 2am-ish to tell them that I would take them to heaven with me.

As the night progressed, my friends played a game with me that involved threatening to burn my eyes out, and slapping my ass. And I tried to spear someone with a tiki torch because they stole my shoe and it was a crime against God himself.

The night ended with me getting wrapped up in a dog chain and I thought the dog was trying to kill me via strangulation with the chain.

This is what happens when you're the only person drinking at a party. And my friends tell the story to absolutely everyone.
So here's to living life miserable.
And here's to all the lonely stories that I've told.
Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow.
Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle.
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