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Old 07-25-2010, 04:54 AM   #116 (permalink)
VEGANGELICA
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone Birds View Post
You're looking at Me
Something is happening
your face entrances me
on the spot in time
in april
i fell for you
in june i try to win ya back
in july i realize i'll never get you back
I like the guitar and instrumentals very much, Stone Birds! A couple times I felt your voice was a little out of tune and the overdubbing made it hard to understand your voice.

I feel your lyrics would be improved by not repeating "back" in the final line, and instead finding another way to say that this person the singer fell for will never catch him. The relationship sounds very short, though this doesn't mean it wasn't important, but this made me feel that the seriousness of the song was out of proportion with what I'd expect after the break-up of a 2-month relationship.

I like NumberNine's mouth drawings!!...especially when the mouth becomes a black spot, echoing the idea of a "spot in time" that is in your lyrics!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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