Scarlett O'Hara

I've been depressed, in some ways it still lingers around me like a smoky haze. It shocked me one night a couple of weeks ago as I got drunk alone so I could sleep and contemplated going to the kitchen, getting a knife and stabbing my stomach with it. When I woke up the next day I realised how ridiculous that idea was, but there is still that chance if I was upset enough, maybe I would have done it drunk.

So I don't believe it's black and white. When you think suicidal thoughts yes it is selfish but only because you want to take away the pain. In some ways maybe you might convince yourself that your family would rather you not live in pain anymore.

I just want to add though that I am generally okay and write poetry to get out any negativity. I plan on making a book out of it.

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