Janszoon

I think it's interesting that the cultures where physical discipline is generally frowned upon all seem to be places with pretty low crime rates. That would seem to contradict the views of the "society will fall apart if we don't spank our kids" crowd.

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djchameleon

the low crime rates has more to do with job availability most likely, their economy and other factors.

I doubt it's because they weren't physically disciplined as a child. That just happens to be a coincidence.

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Guybrush

Hm, actually if you would filter through this thread, you would find a lot of links to several studies that show that there's a connection between physical punishment of kids and crime/capacity of violence later in life as well as other negative consequences.

When you make a nation-wide law, you want to make sure it's based on something that makes sense and you want to conduct studies afterwards to see if the law has had a positive or negative effect on society, so these questions are not completely unanswered. For example, as far as I know, Sweden is regularly studying the effect of their ban on corporal punishment.

edit :

When, would you say, do you think it's okay for someone like your parent to physically hurt you? If you call your father an idiot or accidentally crash his car, is it okay if he slaps you?

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Janszoon

You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I'm not saying that a lack of physical discipline necessarily leads to a low crime rate, I'm saying that it doesn't apparently lead to a high one. The whole argument that people who favor physical discipline generally put out there is that if kids aren't smacked when they're bad it will lead to societal breakdown. Clearly this is not the case if the countries where people generally don't smack their kids have lower crime rates.

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djchameleon

oh okay, yes I did misunderstand what you were saying.

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Urban Hat€monger ?

I would say neither.

Personally I think physical discipline should only be used as a last resort when the child is putting themselves in danger and have been asked several times to stop, like messing around on a busy road or playing with something dangerous.

The impression I get from the anti-smacking brigade in this thread is that they seem to be under the impression that the people who are pro physical discipline are looking for any excuse to brat the crap out of their kids when if you actually read the thread that isn't the case at all.

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RandyMarsh

There. That should lighten the mood in here a little.

Guybrush

The reason I ask is because I assume that most people who are pro-smacking got smacked when they were kids and I believe it teaches kids that it's okay for their parents to smack them. I expect an answer could be that it's not okay for a parent to smack today because the person asked is an adult now, but that it would be okay if they were kids. But then I wonder, at what point in time or at what age does it become immoral to slap someone? When should you, as a parent, treat your kid with the kind of general respect you have for adults?

I would answer that question saying that it's never, at no point in time, okay for my father to slap me. When I have kids, I want to teach them that in our family, we don't slap or otherwise physically punish. I don't want that kind of behaviour to be a tool in our communicative toolbox. I hope that I will be able to instill in my kids a certainty, pride and self-assurance that tells them that if ever another grown-up lay hands on them, they will know that this adult is doing something which is not okay. And eventually as they grow up, I hope they would see in retrospect that I as a father treated them with love as well as the respect that I treat other adults with, even though they were kids.

I remember when I was a kid, we were visited by another family who were friends of my parents. I remember their boy did something which the parents didn't approve of. It was relatively trivial, but he got slapped for it and started crying. This happened at the dinner table and even though I was a kid, I remember I was shocked and horrified. It's never been okay with me and then as well as today, I'm thankful for my parents that they never did that to me.

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FETCHER.

This is ****ing bull****. It's not ****ing abuse. This thread is actually making me angry at the advice not to have kids? Seriously? So because I got my arse skelped when I was younger and thoroughly deserved it, I'm advised never to have children. Well I'm sorry if and when I do have kids and they step out of line I will undoubtedly skelp their arse as deserved. I only remember a handful of times I got skelped and what I do remember I deserved them all. I wouldn't change how I was brought up but I definitely don't consider it as ****ing abuse. Reguardless of wither someone gas had the odd hand across their arse I don't think it deems them bad parents before they've even had children.

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s_k

Allright. I got one hit on the ass. I can't remember it, apparently it wasn't hard at all. Nevertheless, except that one time. But I already said, that probably was self defense .

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