ladyislingering

**this question is based on a heterosexual partnership.

We all know the age-old story. The guy gets down on one knee with a shiny little rock in hand, girl squeals madly, the two live happily ever after.

But is it acceptable for a woman to ask her boyfriend to marry her?

Do men think it's weird, forward, or too desperate?

Or have we moved forward as a society in our efforts for equality?

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DwnWthVwls

I wouldn't mind. I feel like women would object to this idea more than men. I don't think it's about equality either.

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Janszoon

Whoever wants to do the asking should the asking.

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The Batlord

Probably. I imagine men see it as a highly nerve-wracking obligation, whereas with women it seems to be a status symbol that someone has proposed to you.

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Paul Smeenus

I can't even begin to imagine any woman becoming desperate enough to ask me

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Frownland

Pretty much my thoughts as well.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

EPOCH6

I don't see a problem with it but the entire concept of traditional marriage ceremonies and rituals have never meant much to me anyway. I have pretty strong doubts that society at large has made it to the point where this wouldn't be viewed as culturally alien. I imagine if a large number of people were polled on the question the majority would say they're okay with it, but I think the existing status quo is still strong enough to intimidate most women out of doing it, if only to avoid the possibility of stirring the pot between family members.

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John Wilkes Booth

it would probably come across as a bit desperate. not necessarily to me, but most likely to her female friends and associates.

i think the more pressing question is how does one tactfully ask for a prenup

Pet_Sounds

No problem with it, though I'd probably have a fairly low opinion of any guy who received such a proposal, because it seems quite likely to me that either (a) he didn't have the balls to do it himself and thus forced his girlfriend into a potentially awkward position or (b) he was leading her on.

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John Wilkes Booth

if we ignore any societal norms when considering it, then it's no different from a man asking a woman.

but of course those norms are not set aside when most people are actually judging your behavior.

since the traditional rules of engagement are that the man is supposed to be the aggressor and the woman is supposed to be the object of desire, a woman who bypasses this process of waiting for a man to select her can be seen as disregarding the rules because perhaps she fears that the man won't actually fulfill his role in pursuing her. hence the stigma of desperation.

i'm not saying this is how it should be or how i see it, but this is the impression i get from people in general. see pet sounds' post above for a mild example.