The Official Joke Thread

The Batlord · 10-18-2016, 05:17 PM

Nice.

Blue Hawk · 10-19-2016, 01:30 PM

Elders react to Cannibal Corpse Necropedophile.

GuD · 11-20-2016, 07:47 PM

What's the difference between an idiot and a genius?

A paycheck.

~~[MERIT]~~ · 01-08-2019, 12:42 PM

A man walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says "What the hell are you doing?! You can't bring a dog in here!"

The man says "But this dog is special. He can talk!"

The bartender says "You're a liar! If you can get that dog to talk, I'll give you $10,000. If not, I'm throwing your ass out!"

The man turns to the dog and asks "What covers the top of a house?" The dog says "Roof!"

The mans then asks the dog "What do you call the top of your mouth?" The dog replies "Roof!"

The man finally asks the dog "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog emphatically replies "Roof!"

The bartender grabs the man and throws him out on the street, bloodied.

The dog turns to the man and says "Should I have said DiMaggio?"

~~[MERIT]~~ · 01-08-2019, 12:51 PM

Two women are walking along a bridge.

One says to the other "I've always wanted to pee off the side of a bridge, just like a man does."

She walks to the edge of the bridge, pulls her pants down, sticks her ass over the edge and yells to her friend "I'm gonna piss down onto that canoe!"

Her friend turns to her and says "That's no canoe, it's your reflection!"

**Frownland** · 01-08-2019, 12:53 PM

Are you almost out of popsicles yet?

windsock · 01-08-2019, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [MERIT]

Two women are walking along a bridge.

One says to the other "I've always wanted to pee off the side of a bridge, just like a man does."

She walks to the edge of the bridge, pulls her pants down, sticks her ass over the edge and yells to her friend "I'm gonna piss down onto that canoe!"

Her friend turns to her and says "That's no canoe, it's your reflection!"

Just heard this one the other day from the mouth of Bob Einstein. RIP

~~MicShazam~~ · 01-08-2019, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [MERIT]

Two women are walking along a bridge.

One says to the other "I've always wanted to pee off the side of a bridge, just like a man does."

She walks to the edge of the bridge, pulls her pants down, sticks her ass over the edge and yells to her friend "I'm gonna piss down onto that canoe!"

Her friend turns to her and says "That's no canoe, it's your reflection!"

~~[MERIT]~~ · 01-08-2019, 01:19 PM

Those are Norm MacDonald jokes.

windsock · 01-08-2019, 01:22 PM

Pretty sure that joke's decades old. Norm has a tendency to rehash ancient jokes. It's his delivery that makes them funny again.

10-19-2016, 01:30 PM	#552 (permalink)
Blue Hawk Rude gentleman Join Date: Feb 2016 Posts: 685	Elders react to Cannibal Corpse Necropedophile. __________________ Eliminate the right, eliminate the wrong, eliminate the weak, eliminate the strong.

11-20-2016, 07:47 PM	#553 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	What's the difference between an idiot and a genius? A paycheck. __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

01-08-2019, 12:53 PM	#556 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	Are you almost out of popsicles yet? __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

01-08-2019, 12:42 PM	#554 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	A man walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says "What the hell are you doing?! You can't bring a dog in here!" The man says "But this dog is special. He can talk!" The bartender says "You're a liar! If you can get that dog to talk, I'll give you $10,000. If not, I'm throwing your ass out!" The man turns to the dog and asks "What covers the top of a house?" The dog says "Roof!" The mans then asks the dog "What do you call the top of your mouth?" The dog replies "Roof!" The man finally asks the dog "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog emphatically replies "Roof!" The bartender grabs the man and throws him out on the street, bloodied. The dog turns to the man and says "Should I have said DiMaggio?"

01-08-2019, 12:51 PM	#555 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	Two women are walking along a bridge. One says to the other "I've always wanted to pee off the side of a bridge, just like a man does." She walks to the edge of the bridge, pulls her pants down, sticks her ass over the edge and yells to her friend "I'm gonna piss down onto that canoe!" Her friend turns to her and says "That's no canoe, it's your reflection!"

01-08-2019, 01:19 PM	#559 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	Those are Norm MacDonald jokes.