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Old 01-11-2022, 09:56 AM   #10711 (permalink)
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Old 01-11-2022, 11:08 AM   #10712 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Lisnaholic View Post
Also, original castle-style accomodation was everybody sleeping together in a big smokey communal hall. For the moment, I'm going to call that a mixed blessing, while I work through the various images it conjures up

(I think I'd probably roll out my bed of straw somewhere near Marie Monday, and (no offense) at some distance from you, Batlord )
Yeah you don't want to hear those sounds.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-11-2022, 11:36 AM   #10713 (permalink)
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On a high hill it stands, dark, mysterious, moody, brooding, frowning down on the tiny village like some loathsome spider squatting in the darkness, eager for prey. Legend says that no man who goes in to that dread structure comes out again. Except on Tuesday night for takeaway; rumour has it the cook is an ex-employee of MacDonalds.

Batlord Castle. The very name inspires fear and dread.

The halls of the mighty edifice shake to his thunderous voice as he stamps along the passageways, rats scurrying to clear his path lest they be stepped on, for verily tis said he is in the mightiest of snits.

"Who's been borrowing my Super Spiderman comics?" he roars, face purple with rage. "They haven't been putting them back in order! I have a ****ing system you bastards!"

Loath to approach the mighty Batlord in one of his rages, a servant nevertheless gasps when she sees the famed Valerian sword from Game of Thrones.

"My Lord!" shrieks she. "You hath removed yon mighty sword from its original packaging! Tis no longer in the condition which they call mint!"

Batlord's eyes narrow for a second, then his face pales, the anger draining from it, to be replaced by dismay.

"My Ebay listings!" he cries, and vanishes down the corridor.
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Old 01-11-2022, 11:55 AM   #10714 (permalink)
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It almost looks like the Munster's mansion

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Old 01-11-2022, 12:43 PM   #10715 (permalink)
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You mean it almost looks like not a ****ing castle?
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 01-12-2022, 01:15 PM   #10716 (permalink)
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I found this one on Zillow:

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Old 01-12-2022, 01:46 PM   #10717 (permalink)
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THAT is the most poorly defended castle I have ever seen! Where are the battlements? Where's the moat? There's not even a drawbridge or portcullis! Anyone can walk in, and look at those walls. Easily scaled. The windows are NOT arrow slits and have GLASS in them for the love of God! Glass easily shatters, would never keep invaders out. And the doors look as weak as plywood. No, no, this castle gets a very low rating of 3.5! Easily breached, no defences, totally useless. Bloody whites, huh?
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Old 01-12-2022, 02:43 PM   #10718 (permalink)
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Yeah, but they defend the castle with raw onions.
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Old 01-12-2022, 03:02 PM   #10719 (permalink)
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It's a paradoxical Trojan Horse. They get inside of you.
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Old 01-12-2022, 08:20 PM   #10720 (permalink)
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Next you're going to tell me they beef up the defences? Is it possible to ketchup when you're so far behind? And pray, what meaneth this arcane phrase: "do you want fries with that?"
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