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Old 05-12-2014, 01:45 PM   #10251 (permalink)
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I hope the fact every time my bf wants to cuddle I try to make it sexual doesn't push him away. I have been dumped for treating my men like meat in the past.

Will try harder to be sweet.
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Old 05-12-2014, 08:45 PM   #10252 (permalink)
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Yeah.... I was also very mildly tripping that night. I have no idea if any of that actually happened.
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Old 05-12-2014, 08:48 PM   #10253 (permalink)
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lmao bro
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Old 05-13-2014, 09:00 AM   #10254 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem View Post
I hope the fact every time my bf wants to cuddle I try to make it sexual doesn't push him away. I have been dumped for treating my men like meat in the past.

Will try harder to be sweet.
I'm sure he will endure.
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Old 05-13-2014, 12:06 PM   #10255 (permalink)
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I'm sure he will endure.
Yeah, he loves me. He knows I love him, I'm just a pig.

A pig for him.
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Old 05-15-2014, 12:45 AM   #10256 (permalink)
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Things to not say when you're trying to get laid:

"on a scale of 1 to 10 how good are you at sucking dick?"
"You're too old to get knocked up, right?"

Drunken texts from a friend, the real fun started when he decided to call me instead:

*unintelligible slurring*
Then "why are we not f ucking right now?"
Then when I laugh at him he's all "shut the f uck up, I'll punch you in the mouth. But why aren't we f ucking right now? Shut up! Shut up, I'll smash a brick over your head. Why aren't we f ucking right now?"

Oh god, i died laughing. I know he's not serious, just a really sloppy drunk. Still it was hilarious, I can't wait to see how much he remembers in the morning.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:01 AM   #10257 (permalink)
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I've never reaped the benefits of sex in a relationship before but my god, it gets better as time goes on.


Also, you'll be pleased to hear I got over my blow job stage fright.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:07 PM   #10258 (permalink)
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I'm going to write a memoir called "Jesus Will Come Before I Do: How I Joined a Nunnery"
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:08 PM   #10259 (permalink)
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I'm going to write a memoir called "Jesus Will Come Before I Do: How I Joined a Nunnery"
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Old 06-01-2014, 04:08 PM   #10260 (permalink)
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getting yr toes sucked is gross and horrible and I am never doing it again
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