Corny joke (house, trance, single, effect, quote)

04-24-2005, 09:11 PM

another random one....

what do apples and scissors have in common?

they both dont drive tractors

SlayeReyalS · 04-24-2005, 09:27 PM

ok, so this guy goes into a bar... no wait, he doesnt do that yet. i think it starts at a grocery store... well, lets skip that. hes somewhere in the vicinity of the bar. so, then theres this dog, and it says something, i cant remember what it said, but then a guy at the bar says something too.. cant remember what he said either....

just try to imagine it, you'll really laugh!

(familiar?)

04-24-2005, 09:34 PM

yeh that was more random than mine

SlayeReyalS · 04-24-2005, 10:43 PM

a duck goes to a restaurant and asks "do you serve ducks?" and the waitor says "sure, what sauce?"

a hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says "im sorry, we dont serve food here."

a guy is driving his car to the nearest city and sees a sign that says "watch for fallen rocks." he keeps driving, and he spots some fallen rocks on the side of the road. he goes out and picks them up, puts them in his car, and drives away.
when he reaches the city, he takes out his rocks, goes to the nearest building, and drops the fallen rocks onto the front desk. then he says "ok, here's some fallen rocks. now where's my watch?"

blackTshirt · 04-25-2005, 12:37 AM

man.. this is so stupid... hahahaha

04-25-2005, 12:39 AM

but fun nonetheless......

blackTshirt · 04-25-2005, 12:41 AM

yeah i know!!

SlayeReyalS · 04-25-2005, 02:21 AM

http://www.stupid.com/jokes/jokeserver/index.htm

SlayeReyalS · 04-25-2005, 02:21 AM

The monks in a monastery were sworn to silence. But three of the monks made a secret pact. Once a year, one of them could say one sentence.

At breakfast, the monk who had not spoken for three years looked up from his bowl and said, "I hate oatmeal!" And that was his sentence for the next three years.

After one year of total silence, the second monk replied, "Well, I happen to like oatmeal." And that was his sentence for the next three years.

After another year passed, the third monk slammed his mug on the table and said, "I'm sick and tired of this constant bickering about oatmeal!"

SlayeReyalS · 04-25-2005, 02:22 AM

Chris and John went duck hunting for the first time. They took decoys, shotguns, and camouflage hunting suits. Before they left, a friend suggested that they bring a "dog to get the ducks." They took his advice and off they went.
As noon time rolled around, the other hunters on the lake were heading back with boats filled with ducks, while Chris and John had not a single duck.

Chris asked "What do you think we're doing wrong?"

John replied "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough".

04-25-2005, 12:37 AM	#35 (permalink)
blackTshirt The Randomness Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: romania.. shut up Posts: 854	man.. this is so stupid... hahahaha __________________ My rims never spin, to the contrary You'll find that they're quite stationary.

04-25-2005, 12:41 AM	#37 (permalink)
blackTshirt The Randomness Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: romania.. shut up Posts: 854	yeah i know!! __________________ My rims never spin, to the contrary You'll find that they're quite stationary.

04-24-2005, 09:11 PM	#31 (permalink)
pastor of muppets Guest Posts: n/a	another random one.... what do apples and scissors have in common? they both dont drive tractors

04-24-2005, 09:27 PM	#32 (permalink)
SlayeReyalS Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 368	ok, so this guy goes into a bar... no wait, he doesnt do that yet. i think it starts at a grocery store... well, lets skip that. hes somewhere in the vicinity of the bar. so, then theres this dog, and it says something, i cant remember what it said, but then a guy at the bar says something too.. cant remember what he said either.... just try to imagine it, you'll really laugh! (familiar?)

04-24-2005, 09:34 PM	#33 (permalink)
pastor of muppets Guest Posts: n/a	yeh that was more random than mine

04-24-2005, 10:43 PM	#34 (permalink)
SlayeReyalS Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 368	a duck goes to a restaurant and asks "do you serve ducks?" and the waitor says "sure, what sauce?" a hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says "im sorry, we dont serve food here." a guy is driving his car to the nearest city and sees a sign that says "watch for fallen rocks." he keeps driving, and he spots some fallen rocks on the side of the road. he goes out and picks them up, puts them in his car, and drives away. when he reaches the city, he takes out his rocks, goes to the nearest building, and drops the fallen rocks onto the front desk. then he says "ok, here's some fallen rocks. now where's my watch?"

04-25-2005, 12:39 AM	#36 (permalink)
pastor of muppets Guest Posts: n/a	but fun nonetheless......

04-25-2005, 02:21 AM	#38 (permalink)
SlayeReyalS Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 368	http://www.stupid.com/jokes/jokeserver/index.htm

04-25-2005, 02:21 AM	#39 (permalink)
SlayeReyalS Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 368	The monks in a monastery were sworn to silence. But three of the monks made a secret pact. Once a year, one of them could say one sentence. At breakfast, the monk who had not spoken for three years looked up from his bowl and said, "I hate oatmeal!" And that was his sentence for the next three years. After one year of total silence, the second monk replied, "Well, I happen to like oatmeal." And that was his sentence for the next three years. After another year passed, the third monk slammed his mug on the table and said, "I'm sick and tired of this constant bickering about oatmeal!"

04-25-2005, 02:22 AM	#40 (permalink)
SlayeReyalS Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 368	Chris and John went duck hunting for the first time. They took decoys, shotguns, and camouflage hunting suits. Before they left, a friend suggested that they bring a "dog to get the ducks." They took his advice and off they went. As noon time rolled around, the other hunters on the lake were heading back with boats filled with ducks, while Chris and John had not a single duck. Chris asked "What do you think we're doing wrong?" John replied "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough".