Your Day

Astronomer · 02-01-2010, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

OK I have a problem.
My 9 year old son entered a school dance audition with his black girlfriend who has since been told by his Jehovah's Witness parents that she can no longer take part.
I know this sounds like it should be in the Your Day BS version, but believe me, you can't make this shit up.
So, he's decided to enter it anyway, on his own, despite the fact that he's already the only boy to have done so.
And to make matters worse, he's decided he's going to dance to a Cheryl Cole record.
He's already being teased by his male peers, but he seems resolved to go ahead with this.
If he makes it through the audition, he gets to dance in front of the entire fucking school.
Knowing what I know about how this may damage him I'm stuck with the dilemma of intervening and talking him out of it, or letting him do what he wants.
I usually know how to handle stuff like this, but for once I'm truly at a loss as to what to do for the best.
It's been a long time since I was 9 and I'm wondering if any of the younger members out there can cast their minds back to the not so distant past and perhaps guide me in making a decision.

WARNING: Anyone taking the piss will be hunted down and slaughtered on their own doorstep with my bare hands!

SowhatamIgonnado?...

One of the biggest fears of a 9 year old is being embarrassed by his or her classmates. It sounds sad, but it's true. Think back about your days in primary school or high school even... pretty sure I spent most of my time trying to not be embarrassed in front of my peers. It may seem like a good idea to him now but he might get hurt or embarrassed if he ends up being continuously teased about it. So I would talk to him about it and ask him if he was sure he wanted to do it, encouraging him that he doesn't have to feel pressured to do it even if his dance partner can't do it anymore, and that perhaps the dance routine might not be as good with just him, etc, try to subtly talk him out of it and see if he changes his mind.

If he doesn't and is intent on doing it, then what can you do? Just let him do it if he really wants to. If he gets teased about it, who cares, it'll pass and be forgotten in a short time no doubt, and he will have been true to himself and done something that he had his heart set on. If he seems resolved to go ahead with it despite what his male peers will think of him, then kudos to him! Whatever decision he makes I don't think there is much to really worry about... it's all part of growing up and a learning experience, etcetera etcetera

right-track · 02-01-2010, 05:12 PM

Thanks for replying Lateralus. I really am in a no win situation given how much I know what this means to him. I'll take your advice and balance it out with what others here will hopefully add to yours.

Really sorry about dropping this in at a time like this for you and your dog.
I didn't read your post until after I posted mine.

This may sound a bit cold and to the point, but as an Antipodean I'm sure you'll appreciate my honesty.
Putting your dog down will be the kindest thing to do (as I'm sure you'll already realise) and even though it's obviously upsetting, it's best to try and remember the better times.
This is going to sound even colder, but I wish I had the option with regards to my father given the state he's in at the moment. :/

Astronomer · 02-01-2010, 05:17 PM

^ Ha, don't worry about it. I actually feel like a huge baby being so upset about a dog but... yeah.

It's absolutely true though, and I'm probably going to sound cold as well but we don't think twice about putting animals to sleep when they are in pain and suffering. But often humans are in immense pain and suffering for years with ridiculously low qualities of life without no relief.

storymilo · 02-01-2010, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus

Today I found out I have to put my dog down. I was going to do it before I moved to NZ but for some reason I decided it wasn't necessary and brought him with me. But it's gotten to the point where he is so old and in pain and his behaviour is so hard to cope with that the vet decided I should think about putting him down. He's 14 years old and I've had him for the entire 14 years. I'm pretty gutted, I don't know when it's going to happen but probably sometime this week or next. What a great birthday present. I wish I had somebody to go and cry to but I stupidly left all of my friends in another country. FML.

That sounds awful

I've had pets die (some put down and others by accident) and it's horrible. At least you got to be with him for his whole life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

OK I have a problem.
My 9 year old son entered a school dance audition with his black girlfriend who has since been told by his Jehovah's Witness parents that she can no longer take part.
I know this sounds like it should be in the Your Day BS version, but believe me, you can't make this shit up.
So, he's decided to enter it anyway, on his own, despite the fact that he's already the only boy to have done so.
And to make matters worse, he's decided he's going to dance to a Cheryl Cole record.
He's already being teased by his male peers, but he seems resolved to go ahead with this.
If he makes it through the audition, he gets to dance in front of the entire fucking school.
Knowing what I know about how this may damage him I'm stuck with the dilemma of intervening and talking him out of it, or letting him do what he wants.
I usually know how to handle stuff like this, but for once I'm truly at a loss as to what to do for the best.
It's been a long time since I was 9 and I'm wondering if any of the younger members out there can cast their minds back to the not so distant past and perhaps guide me in making a decision.

WARNING: Anyone taking the piss will be hunted down and slaughtered on their own doorstep with my bare hands!

SowhatamIgonnado?...

Dude.... let him do it. I honestly wish I'd had the courage to do something like that when I was 9. If you really don't think he understands what he's doing go ahead and try to convince him out of it, but I'd just let him do what he wants.

LoathsomePete · 02-01-2010, 05:19 PM

This is directed to you David:

I would honestly say let your son go through with the dance routine. Yes he will most likely get teased by the other students, but your son will be learning about self-confidence, a trait that will help him out immensely in the later years, especially when it comes to talking to girls (something I'm sure he'll have no trouble with by the looks of him).

Also you have to take into account the attention span of most kids these days. Will he be unpopular for a week or two? Probably, but eventually someone will do something even worse like eat their boogers, rip their trousers, or worst of all, pop a boner in front of everyone and will then take the ridicule that your son may be facing.

right-track · 02-01-2010, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus

^ Ha, don't worry about it. I actually feel like a huge baby being so upset about a dog but... yeah.

It's absolutely true though, and I'm probably going to sound cold as well but we don't think twice about putting animals to sleep when they are in pain and suffering. But often humans are in immense pain and suffering for years with ridiculously low qualities of life without no relief.

I remember when we had to have our dog put down. There's a photo of us both in the 'Those were the Days' thread.
It was heartbreaking.

right-track · 02-01-2010, 05:22 PM

At this point I have to add that his routine to the Chery Cole record is camp to say the least...

Mojo · 02-01-2010, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

I remember when we had to have our dog put down. There's a photo of us both in the 'Those were the Days' thread.
It was heartbreaking.

It is heartbreaking. I remember when i came home from school and my parents told me they had our dog put down, i just got up and left and went to see my friends and didn't come back for a long time. I know alot of people say that they are "just" animals but if you have the right attitude towards a pet then it's gonna feel like much more than that.

And RT, i would see if there is maybe a way to put it to him to try and change his mind but ultimately if he really does want to do it, then i think you have to let him. You may think you're in a no win situation but it could just as easily be a win win situation.

If he changes his mind then you are gonna save his embarrassement and yes, kids have short attention spans so chances are it will be quickly forgotten about but i know i still have some memories of school and some stories to tell and there are certain things, certain events that stick in our minds and become stories to do get re-told long after our school years.

On the other hand, as has been said he probably will learn something about just being confident to do whatever makes him happy and may even help him develop the right attitude in which being afraid of the way certain people react wont stop him from doing things that he wants to do. I know i sometimes i wish i had a bit more of a "fuck you" attitude.

Arya Stark · 02-01-2010, 05:34 PM

I got a new roommate finally. >.<

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus

^ Ha, don't worry about it. I actually feel like a huge baby being so upset about a dog but... yeah.

It's absolutely true though, and I'm probably going to sound cold as well but we don't think twice about putting animals to sleep when they are in pain and suffering. But often humans are in immense pain and suffering for years with ridiculously low qualities of life without no relief.

You're not being a baby at all, dogs can make you feel more loved than most people can.
I've never had one myself, but I can definitely understand how you feel.

gunnels · 02-01-2010, 05:35 PM

I discovered my mom is dating a musician named Jack White.
I am now ripping all of the CDs I burned from my last music collection that crashed. Gonna take a looong time.

02-01-2010, 05:17 PM	#11163 (permalink)
Astronomer we are stardust Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,894	^ Ha, don't worry about it. I actually feel like a huge baby being so upset about a dog but... yeah. It's absolutely true though, and I'm probably going to sound cold as well but we don't think twice about putting animals to sleep when they are in pain and suffering. But often humans are in immense pain and suffering for years with ridiculously low qualities of life without no relief. __________________

02-01-2010, 05:19 PM	#11165 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	This is directed to you David: I would honestly say let your son go through with the dance routine. Yes he will most likely get teased by the other students, but your son will be learning about self-confidence, a trait that will help him out immensely in the later years, especially when it comes to talking to girls (something I'm sure he'll have no trouble with by the looks of him). Also you have to take into account the attention span of most kids these days. Will he be unpopular for a week or two? Probably, but eventually someone will do something even worse like eat their boogers, rip their trousers, or worst of all, pop a boner in front of everyone and will then take the ridicule that your son may be facing. __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

02-01-2010, 05:12 PM	#11162 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Thanks for replying Lateralus. I really am in a no win situation given how much I know what this means to him. I'll take your advice and balance it out with what others here will hopefully add to yours. Really sorry about dropping this in at a time like this for you and your dog. I didn't read your post until after I posted mine. This may sound a bit cold and to the point, but as an Antipodean I'm sure you'll appreciate my honesty. Putting your dog down will be the kindest thing to do (as I'm sure you'll already realise) and even though it's obviously upsetting, it's best to try and remember the better times. This is going to sound even colder, but I wish I had the option with regards to my father given the state he's in at the moment. :/

02-01-2010, 05:22 PM	#11167 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	At this point I have to add that his routine to the Chery Cole record is camp to say the least...