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Old 03-23-2011, 08:07 PM   #15171 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by s_k View Post
I dunno. I won't deny doing something extra for a girl now and then hoping to score at some point (and I mean scoring as in friends with benefits or a relationship, whatever). I'm pretty male when it comes to that. But the typical male/female negativity amongst sexes is indeed not my style. I like my friends, both male and female. Why should I join in on talking negatively about women? My experience is just different


Anything except the giggling and the gossiping, yeah. I have had sleepovers with girls without trying anything. Even after I told them I'd **** them if I could.
I can honestly say I have no female friend I wouldn't have sex with, given the opportunity. But I can be friends with girls .
It's just a choice. I should say that patience often really works. You still are 'boy and girl', there will be a spark at some time. I'm not sure why, but it just happens. There is always a point in time in which you say 'hey... I might like you a bit more than I thought before'. And I don't mind being friend until that happens. I don't mind being friends if it never happens either.


Haha, no wait, you may be missing something here.
I am really careful with what I say here because I know that, because of the language barrier, things can come over all freaky. I don't want that.
But I make very clear to the girls I know in person how much I like them and I must say it does pay off. I may not be the 'slutty' type, but I do get my chances . I don't take them all, though. That's something different. Eitherway, I do sex talk, girls know I hit on them and sometimes (rather often, actually) it's mutual. I don't really see how or why.
I somehow manage to stay on that thin line between friends zone and friends with benefits or a relationship. I'm not sure how I do that. But I'm sure as hell not going to change it.

I do choose friendship over sex, yes. But sometimes the two combine neatly
I understand that there is a benefit to tact. What I'm trying to say is, from what I've seen, you don't seem to possess that "male quality" that, from my experience and observation, makes up a large portion of the fundamental attraction for most women, even when they openly rebuke it. Obviously, I'm making a lot of assumptions, but basically, what I'm saying, is that you seem to come off as the poster-child for a nice guy finishing last. And I think that saying is there for a reason, no matter how unjust it may be.
But, by all means, be you.
I'm just making an observation. I think, for the most part, guys like this already know it, and actually do feel somewhat inadequate in the "alpha confidence" department (for lack of a better term), but are able to rationalize it into something more positive because they see their friendships as substitute accomplishments and conquests, and have relegated themselves to sublimating their actual desires into settling for the next best thing, simply because it's more natural to them. At this point, limited choices become "decisions", when the true reality of the matter may be far, far different.

Sorry, the topic just got my analytical brain going. I don't mean to assume to dissect and pigeonhole you. You're just the best specimen available.
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:13 PM   #15172 (permalink)
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You'll be the first to know if I get the impression that you're right.
But listen. I've been keeping an eye on girls since last november. Before that I had to get over my ex which cost me more than a year of my life, right?
I've had three girls who turned out to be interested in me in that period of time. I ditched one as she took it too far and is the girlfriend of one of my friends. Won't be ****ing around with her. Then there's one girl who openly told me she's in love with me. But
A. She has a (nice) boyfriend
B. She does a lot of drugs which is really a problem for me

And the tird girl, not official yet, but I recognize sparkles and there was a thing going on between her and me years ago, when I was still with the girl who is now my ex.

And oh yeah, my ex is in doubt too. She started wondering if she'd never be sorry for leaving me when there was no way back (e.g.: If I had a new girlfriend). Well she's got the rest of our life to figure that out because I'm not thinking of leaving her as a friend. So maybe there will be a second time with her, I dunno.

Eitherway, it's not like I'm just sitting here being friendly to every girl while those girls look at every guy but me.
I know which prototype you mean and I know exactly what I am doing 'wrong'. But it still seems to work. Strange, eh?
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:25 PM   #15173 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_k View Post
You'll be the first to know if I get the impression that you're right.
But listen. I've been keeping an eye on girls since last november. Before that I had to get over my ex which cost me more than a year of my life, right?
I've had three girls who turned out to be interested in me in that period of time. I ditched one as she took it too far and is the girlfriend of one of my friends. Won't be ****ing around with her. Then there's one girl who openly told me she's in love with me. But
A. She has a (nice) boyfriend
B. She does a lot of drugs which is really a problem for me

And the tird girl, not official yet, but I recognize sparkles and there was a thing going on between her and me years ago, when I was still with the girl who is now my ex.

And oh yeah, my ex is in doubt too. She started wondering if she'd never be sorry for leaving me when there was no way back (e.g.: If I had a new girlfriend). Well she's got the rest of our life to figure that out because I'm not thinking of leaving her as a friend. So maybe there will be a second time with her, I dunno.

Eitherway, it's not like I'm just sitting here being friendly to every girl while those girls look at every guy but me.
I know which prototype you mean and I know exactly what I am doing 'wrong'. But it still seems to work. Strange, eh?
The point I was making wasn't "are you getting bites on the fishing pole?" But the fact that you defaulted to that speaks volumes.
Also, it sounds like you're pretty much leaving your plans open for your ex. She must have been pretty important to you, yea?
Is that why you talk about her constantly, and inform us that she is, indeed, your ex? Why don't you refer to her primary role, as a friend? The way you talk about her reminds me of the way a high schooler boasts about the first time he got a hand job. Again, I'm not trying to pass judgment, I'm just making observations.

Overall, it's just little things like that, that speak more than things said in defense. I think it's fun to try and sort out the disparities, but if I'm making you uncomfortable at any point, let me know and I'll stop straight away.
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:38 PM   #15174 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Freebase Dali View Post
The point I was making wasn't "are you getting bites on the fishing pole?" But the fact that you defaulted to that speaks volumes.
Haha, not defaulted. I just thought that whas where you were trying to go

Quote:
Also, it sounds like you're pretty much leaving your plans open for your ex. She must have been pretty important to you, yea?
She still is. But I'm not leaving anything open for her. If I would I wouldn't be keeping my eyes open for opportunities with other girls. No really, there's plenty of reasons for us to get back together. We've been together for a reason and that reason is still there. We also split up for a reason but these reasons seem to fade now we have taken some distance from eachother and found time to think and talk things over.

Quote:
Is that why you talk about her constantly, and inform us that she is, indeed, your ex? Why don't you refer to her primary role, as a friend? The way you talk about her reminds me of the way a high schooler boasts about the first time he got a hand job. Again, I'm not trying to pass judgment, I'm just making observations.
Nice metaphor .
She's just important to me. And I could call her by her name (Fleur) but that wouldn't make things much clearer now would it? I could call her 'a friend of mine', but that doesn't say enough. I could call her 'my best friend', which she is, but then I have to explain she's female. I could call her my best female friend, but she's not just my best female friend, she's my best friend.
So... Any ideas?

Quote:
Overall, it's just little things like that, that speak more than things said in defense. I think it's fun to try and sort out the disparities, but if I'm making you uncomfortable at any point, let me know and I'll stop straight away.
No you don't, but thanks for saying that. I will open my mouth when I feel bad about it.
I know exactly what you mean man and I can't really explain why you're wrong. It would be very handy if there was someone here who knows me well in real life to help me explain the way I work.
You're going to have to take my word for it when I say: Don't compare me to what you know already, because I am not comparable to anything or anyone. Sometimes it seems I defy any rule there is when it comes to social stuff. Which is sort of explainable. I am in the end autistic and I do work a bit different in a lot of cases. The differences are often subtle like this one. I seem to be like 'some of those guys', but then I am not. But I cannot explain that to you. Just wait till you get a picture of me and my very nice new girlfriend, whenever that happens

There's one thing I should probably add: I hear every time people meet me that I'm really different, nicer actually, less strange, in real life.
So... I'm not sure where that comes from, but I guess it's a good thing. I don't disappoint.
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:48 PM   #15175 (permalink)
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Just got home from the wake. Was pretty cool to see some of the family I have not seen in a while. Seeing my cousin's friend Lee Kundrat (Rat Skates) was awesome. Had not seen him in a while. Was cool to talk to him a bit about the documentaries he has mad especially Get Thrashed. Talked about the music scene and I asked him questions about Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer etc. Was cool to hear he has a new one coming out where he interviewed David Ellefson for a part of it.

Even though it was kind of a blah day it turned out to be a great one.
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Old 03-23-2011, 09:02 PM   #15176 (permalink)
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**** I jus took a look at the trailer for his documentary and looked at the list of artists he interviewed for it.

David Bowie

George Thorogood

Joan Jett

Peter Criss

Joey Kramer

Anthony Kiedis

Billy Squier

Vernon Reid

Anvil

David Johansen

Tom Scholz

Michael Sweet

Chris Robinson

Dee Snider

Dave Mustaine

Mike Portnoy

Henry Rollins

Jay Jay French

Karl Wilcox

Now I'm looking forward to seeing it.
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Old 03-23-2011, 09:03 PM   #15177 (permalink)
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^^I'm just only interested in Vernon, really
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Old 03-23-2011, 11:28 PM   #15178 (permalink)
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I had to wake up an hour earlier to sit in the cafeteria for two hours trying to remember the symptoms of Gonorrhea and Chlamydia.

I freaking hate Health.
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Old 03-24-2011, 02:35 AM   #15179 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_k View Post

No you don't, but thanks for saying that. I will open my mouth when I feel bad about it.
I know exactly what you mean man and I can't really explain why you're wrong. It would be very handy if there was someone here who knows me well in real life to help me explain the way I work.
You're going to have to take my word for it when I say: Don't compare me to what you know already, because I am not comparable to anything or anyone. Sometimes it seems I defy any rule there is when it comes to social stuff. Which is sort of explainable. I am in the end autistic and I do work a bit different in a lot of cases. The differences are often subtle like this one. I seem to be like 'some of those guys', but then I am not. But I cannot explain that to you. Just wait till you get a picture of me and my very nice new girlfriend, whenever that happens

There's one thing I should probably add: I hear every time people meet me that I'm really different, nicer actually, less strange, in real life.
So... I'm not sure where that comes from, but I guess it's a good thing. I don't disappoint.
I'm not going to go through and quote everything you said but you scream the type of beta male where you just stay in the friends zone and wait for something more to happen.

Sure you do express that you have feelings or w/e for certain girls but you don't pro-actively go after the ones that you want. You just play the background and wait for things to work itself out. Sure, that's great it works for you but I used to be the same way and I hated being in that type of situation time and time again. I felt like I needed to grow some balls and go after what I want no matter what the outcome. If it turns out badly then so be it. I at least tried and not just sat around with my tail between my legs waiting for things to be different and change.

Oh, I also wanted to make mention of the fact that yeah sure, you don't want to talk negatively about women but the fact of the matter is that they talk negatively about men in general as well when they are all together especially on girl's night out and things of that nature.

I'm guessing you have NEVER seen Sex and the City.

I'm not saying that they always throw shade at guys but when they do talk about guys, they let the flag fly and mention all the good and bad things that they like about certain guys and what they dislike about men in general. I don't see how that is such a bad thing but obviously you do for some reason when guys do it on the opposite side of the coin.
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Old 03-24-2011, 05:17 AM   #15180 (permalink)
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lol dj you girl, sitting at home watching Sex and The City. (joking :P)

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about to buy tix for Sucker Punch

Sucker...............PUNCH!!!!!!! (something like the fight sounds in Streetfighter II)
I cannot wait for that film. Guns, Swords, Robots, Explosions, Endless Fighting and Hot girls; what else could you ask for in a movie?
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