What Drives You?

Key · 07-09-2018, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Ja, you totally missed how Goofle was saying that he can't be the source of his own pride.

Most likely. Though I wouldn't understand since I gave up on that pipe dream.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 07-09-2018, 03:46 PM

a big part of my drive is wanting to give back to my parents. they did everything they could for me and my sisters.

when i was younger my father was working a dead end job but would bust his ass to make sure we had everything we wanted. at the time he always seemed angry and i could never understand why, i think i really struggled to understand all he did until i finished high school and looked back at it all. he’s now working a great job and i spend more time with him than almost anyone else.

what keeps me going is my desire to show him that i appreciate what he’s done and that i don’t want to let him down. i feel like i’m forever in his gratitude for being where i am at this point in my life. not that i’m necessarily in my ideal position, but it’s hard to say where i could’ve ended up without him.

Justthefacts · 07-09-2018, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiiii

Did we just become best friends?

We've always been best buds Kiii. I love you.

Key · 07-09-2018, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justthefacts

We've always been best buds Kiii. I love you.

~~MicShazam~~ · 07-09-2018, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I think we all want to be respected, and if we're human, we probably want to/need to respect others. Maybe it's an ego thing, but hell, if you say wrote a really good game or song, wouldn't you want those around you to respect you for that?

It's definitely perfectly human. I just think that one has to be careful with hinging too much on that approval/feeling of approval.

For example: I write music and make small games. If wanting to be seen as someone who is good at that was my main motivation, it would really screw with the enjoyment of working on those things and my motivation could be killed off if people said I sucked at it. If it's mostly internally motivated, I'll keep doing it just because I enjoy the process and any eventual approval is just sort of a bonus that doesn't really mess with my motivations for why I'm doing this.

Of course, in general, I would like to be seen as a nice and competent person, but the less you worry about that, the easier it is to be happy.

**Frownland** · 07-09-2018, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MicShazam

It's definitely perfectly human. I just think that one has to be careful with hinging too much on that approval/feeling of approval.

For example: I write music and make small games. If wanting to be seen as someone who is good at that was my main motivation, it would really screw with the enjoyment of working on those things and my motivation could be killed off if people said I sucked at it. If it's mostly internally motivated, I'll keep doing it just because I enjoy the process and any eventual approval is just sort of a bonus that doesn't really mess with my motivations for why I'm doing this.

Of course, in general, I would like to be seen as a nice and competent person, but the less you worry about that, the easier it is to be happy.

Gong off of this, I hate that (in America at least), everyone is always pressuring people into turning their hobbies into careers.

"Play an instrument? Oh, so what shows do you do, you trying to get on a label? Make birdhouses? Nice! Do you sell that **** on etsy? How can you enjoy something without money behind it?"

Some people will never understand the catharsis of just doing ****.

~~MicShazam~~ · 07-09-2018, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Gong off of this, I hate that (in America at least), everyone is always pressuring people into turning their hobbies into careers.

"Play an instrument? Oh, so what shows do you do, you trying to get on a label? Make birdhouses? Nice! Do you sell that **** on etsy? How can you enjoy something without money behind it?"

Some people will never understand the catharsis of just doing ****.

Quadruple high five and an amen to that. I've had those sorts of reactions a million times.
I'm just doing it because I like doing it ffs! Is that really so hard to relate to?

Trollheart · 07-09-2018, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Gong off of this, I hate that (in America at least), everyone is always pressuring people into turning their hobbies into careers.

"Play an instrument? Oh, so what shows do you do, you trying to get on a label? Make birdhouses? Nice! Do you sell that **** on etsy? How can you enjoy something without money behind it?"

Some people will never understand the catharsis of just doing ****.

There's nothing wrong with doing something for the pure joy of it. You keep fish/love aquaria? You don't have to like, show them at fairs or whatever. But a lot of the creative stuff we do (well, let's be honest, I can only speak for myself so let's say I do) gains an extra punch when someone else enjoys/appreciates it. Someone likes one of my stories, that's a boost, and of course in contrast someone hates one it's a bit of a blow. However the former pushes me to go ahead and continue writing, while the latter, although it doesn't stop me writing, does throw in that little bit of doubt as to whether I am actually good enough to do this.

I think in that case, and many others, positive reinforcement gained through other people respecting - no, that's the wrong word - appreciating what you do, being impressed by it, really does help.

Of course, everyone's different, but I don't think someone should be singled out as "a dick" (sorry Kiii to harp on this) for saying they want to earn the respect of others. Whatever sets your particular seagoing vessel on the water, I say.

**Frownland** · 07-09-2018, 05:10 PM

It's probably the implication that people should be treated worse if they're not as good at their job that singles one out as a dick.

Living to earn the respect of others is something concerning but idk if I'd go tossing any genital terms around for that.

Trollheart · 07-09-2018, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

It's probably the implication that people should be treated worse if they're not as good at their job that singles one out as a dick.

Living to earn the respect of others is something concerning but idk if I'd go tossing any genital terms around for that.

Yeah, this is a very good point.

07-09-2018, 05:10 PM	#39 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	It's probably the implication that people should be treated worse if they're not as good at their job that singles one out as a dick. Living to earn the respect of others is something concerning but idk if I'd go tossing any genital terms around for that. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x