A Classy B*stard's 9 to 5

The Batlord · 06-05-2017, 11:28 AM

You said your boss inherited the business from his father? So he's basically a talentless rich kid (or the middle class equivalent I guess) who sponges off his employees' actual talents while somehow managing to keep his superiority complex intact by sheer force of not quite going bankrupt? How does he even keep his company afloat? I'm tempted to think you're exaggerating, cause no one that incompetent could succeed at anything besides music or being a forum talking head.

innerspaceboy · 06-11-2017, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

You said your boss inherited the business from his father? So he's basically a talentless rich kid (or the middle class equivalent I guess) who sponges off his employees' actual talents while somehow managing to keep his superiority complex intact by sheer force of not quite going bankrupt? How does he even keep his company afloat? I'm tempted to think you're exaggerating, cause no one that incompetent could succeed at anything besides music or being a forum talking head.

There is no exaggeration I assure you. And it is precisely this sort of self-serving, boys club business model which thrives in an era of late capitalism. It isn't that he is successful. Far from it. By any measure his business is an abysmal failure. But that doesn't matter because he will continue to funnel inherited funds into it to feed his ego and his arrogance.

innerspaceboy · 06-11-2017, 08:33 PM

And so, dear friends, it came to pass that I secured a far more rewarding job in IT. I gave my notice, took the high road, and left on the best of terms. My old boss found himself in a predicament, as he knew all too well that no one could replace me to continue performing all the IT work I’d been doing for him, from the payroll systems I constructed to the paperless workflow automation I’d built… he needed me. So he asked that I stay on one hour a week to drop by and maintain my automated systems. He offered me $20 for a minimum 1-hour compensation to make it worth my trip.

But of course, it didn’t stop there. In my first two weeks at the new company, my old boss phoned me three times during the day and night asking me to walk him through various complex technical troubleshooting issues. Quickly realizing that this was establishing an undesirable pattern, I drafted a concise and professional email indicating that the terms discussed for my continued employment did not include phone support and that I would need to be compensated for my time if he is to continue to phone me.

He replied saying he was shocked by my demand. He said he was already paying for my health insurance for the rest of April and that this entitled him to limitless phone support with no compensation. He made it abundantly clear that he was being kind and generous and that I should continue to work for free. (A hint - if you have to tell someone how kind and generous you are… you probably aren’t.) I replied, stating that providing insurance in no way exempts him for paying an employee for their work. Compensation for my labor is not contingent upon his generosity. I proposed a discounted rate of service to be billed in 15-minute increments for future phone assistance. And as expected, he pushed back again saying that I was clearly failing to understand him.

He said that he was already paying me a flat rate of $20 for my on-site weekly visits, and as it doesn’t actually take me a full hour, he’s entitled to use any remaining minutes (usually 30-45) for phone support and just roll it into my hour. (This is his MO, as for the entire duration of my employ, I was required to appear 15 minutes early without pay every day and all time worked after 5 was rounded away uncompensated.) I remained firm and explained that I am now a contract worker and that the industry standard for phone support is $1 a minute. I’d offered a discounted rate as a courtesy as we had an established business relationship, but that the $20 minimum hour rate is what I need to make my on-site visits worth doing at all in the first place. Support phone calls above and beyond that $20 need to be compensated. I closed the conversation saying that if he refuses to pay me for my labor that I will not be taking any more of his calls. I invited him to email me his requests in advance of my weekly on-site visits and said I would handle the requests at that time.

My old boss is a piece of ****.

Zhanteimi · 06-11-2017, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innerspaceboy

I foolishly posed the question, "so what have you guys been reading lately?"

Faces contorted in response, and one of them replied, thoroughly confused, "you mean like... school books? I've never read anything that I wasn't forced to by a teacher."

That's just sad.

innerspaceboy · 07-12-2017, 04:21 PM

An unexpected supplemental conclusion to the tales of 9 to 5!

Yesterday was one of my weekly 1-hour pops into my former workplace to perform general routine maintenance of the automation systems, payroll systems, and 14 social media sites I manage as my boss’ IT consultant. But this would turn out to be a unique visit. When I sat down to start working, the CEO pulled up a chair and said, “You know… I’ve been thinking…”

What follows that phrase is without fail always an amusing statement. Previously it had been followed by phrases like, “I’ve been thinking of starting a payroll company…” or “I’m thinking about cornering the vaping market…” or “I’ve decided that we’re a digital marketing firm now…” and things of that nature. But this time, he said, “I’ve decided to delete your last remaining email account, because it will save me $5 a month.”

I reminded him, as I did the last time he removed my account without sharing it with me, that this account is our primary company calendar profile, and is tied to all of our third-party automation providers, the account with administrative privileges for Google scripts for our automation, and is the destination address for all service receipts, notifications of service outages, communications from the Apple App Store and Google Play Store for our apps, and other critical messages. But that didn’t seem to bother him.

“How will I communicate to you what tasks I’ve performed on my visits?” I inquired.

“Well, you can type up and print out a Word doc. Besides, I have another idea as well.”

Here it comes.

“I was thinking, you can probably teach all this basic maintenance stuff you do to my hourly associate, right?”

“Do you mean the 70-year-old woman who does your CSR work?” I cringed.

“Yeah. And our pre-press girl. They can handle it I’m sure.”

“But how will they identify and adjust for anomalies in the system? Rows exceeding the limit for Google Script functionality, user errors, etc?” I asked.

“Well, that’s when I’ll call you,” he explained. “I’ll take you off the payroll, and just call you when I need you to fix what they’ve broken or let break down. I’ll give you $25 whenever we need to rebuild the automation.”

What our CEO fails to grasp is that, without someone knowing the ins and outs of the system and adjusting for anomalies, operation is going to grind to a halt constantly. It would inevitably cost him far more in time to have me clean up their mess than to just have me maintain it myself.

“And they’re going to manage the 14 social media sites as well?”

“Sure!” he said. “They can do that between print jobs.”

So there I had it. I was being terminated after I train an elderly woman and a kid who does pre-press to manage the paperless automation and payroll systems I’ve built. In a way, it seemed a blessing - he was effectively burning the bridge for me so that I wouldn’t have to inevitably walk away myself when I finally decided that the charity of my weekly visits was no longer worth my while. (Seriously… I don’t need the $20.)

So I agreed. Next Tuesday, I’m dropping by for a few hours with twenty-five odd pages of process guides I’ve drafted on how to perform basic maintenance tasks and adjust for common errors in the systems. I’ll train his hourly associates as best I can and I will walk away a free man.

Technically speaking, I’ll be off the payroll and will have no obligation to repair the calamity which I expect to occur in the weeks ahead. My peers are telling me to resist any sense of nobility or empathy for my system and to just let it crumble.

Could he sue me for refusing? I’m not sure. He’s verbally terminated my employ, and I’m not signing a contract agreement thereafter.

I think I might finally be free.

Cheers, friends.

- A Classy Bastard

The Batlord · 07-12-2017, 05:02 PM

1. What are the chances he'll throw your process guides in the trash?

2. I'd stay on for as long as the cringe/lulz continued and start obviously condescending to your old boss.

innerspaceboy · 07-20-2017, 05:24 PM

The person who I trained to take over my responsibilities entered her email address to take over several accounts as administrator. It ended in @aol.com.

The Batlord · 07-20-2017, 06:25 PM

I'm surprised your old job doesn't use dial-up or Netscape.