Crowe's Songwriting Collection

DearJenny · 12-06-2006, 12:04 PM

I apologize to Jibber and Crowe, when I drink I have a personal vendetta against anything and everything. No disrespect to you Crowe and, Jibber, sorry for my drunk misspellings and dumbass comments like the one I made about the crack. For the record, it wasn't you, it was me! I was a bit tipsy. Also for the record, I have excellent English and rhetoric skills, however last night I was having trouble eyeing the keyboard. I swear the keys kept moving! Sorry again, thanks.

jibber · 12-06-2006, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CityLightsLikeRain

I apologize to Jibber and Crowe, when I drink I have a personal vendetta against anything and everything. No disrespect to you Crowe and, Jibber, sorry for my drunk misspellings and dumbass comments like the one I made about the crack. For the record, it wasn't you, it was me! I was a bit tipsy. Also for the record, I have excellent English and rhetoric skills, however last night I was having trouble eyeing the keyboard. I swear the keys kept moving! Sorry again, thanks.

haha, no worries, it was actually pretty funny. plus i was bored last night so i was being more of an anal retentive b*tch than i normally would be

Trauma · 12-08-2006, 11:12 PM

That's a great piece you wrote there.

Crowe · 12-09-2006, 01:33 AM

Danke :-D

Crowe · 12-20-2006, 02:06 AM

I agree with Crowquill. Simplicity isn't "in".

Crowe · 12-20-2006, 02:18 AM

I believe the songwriters were asked to write a Christmas song... here's mine.

I think it's best to warn you that this is entirely a joke and very crude. I know this. If you think it's funny, great, if not... well, sorry dudes. Imagine this to a very "happy" tune like most Christmas songs are.

My Christmas Song

I'd have my way with,
Mrs. Claus and I will tell you how.
I'd tie her down with tinsel,
And stick a candy cane in her mouth.
And just when Santa leaves,
To deliver his presents to the girls and boys.
I'll start to use my own set of toys.
And with a glint in her eye,
Mrs. Claus will begin to laugh with glee.

I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus,
And she's screwin' me!
Every year around this time,
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

And if we are ever caught by,
Jolly Old St. Nick!
I'd ask him to join us and if he refuses,
Mrs. Claus will grab him by his (robe)
And with a Hey we'll ride in his sleigh,
High into the night.
We'll drop Ole' Santa from the air,
Where he lands who will care?
Then back on the bearskin rug,
She and I will go!
This is where the Elves cheer us on,
As I give her a throw!
Oh Crowe!

I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus,
And she's screwin' me!
Every year around this time,
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

Now, I'm the new Santa,
And I tell you what,
I'm too fvckin lazy
To get off my Santa butt.
So those presents you're used to,
Yeah well, maybe next year.
That's if I'm not gettin' a hummer,
Next to the nine reindeer.

It's a HO HO HO indeed!
It's a HO HO HO indeed!
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

(Mrs. Claus' voice)
Especially when CROWE CROWE CROWE's in ME!

Crowe · 12-20-2006, 02:20 AM

i want this to be above the christmas song lol. small bump.

sleepy jack · 12-20-2006, 05:56 PM

Omggggggggg

sleepy jack · 12-20-2006, 05:56 PM

This is one of the worst things i've read by you. I understand its from the voice of a child so it isn't going to be very interestingly read and all, but this one a boring read. You need something to liven it up.

jibber · 12-24-2006, 12:31 AM

you are one twisted bastard

I like it

12-06-2006, 12:04 PM	#231 (permalink)
DearJenny Raptor Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metro Detroit, MI Posts: 1,321	I apologize to Jibber and Crowe, when I drink I have a personal vendetta against anything and everything. No disrespect to you Crowe and, Jibber, sorry for my drunk misspellings and dumbass comments like the one I made about the crack. For the record, it wasn't you, it was me! I was a bit tipsy. Also for the record, I have excellent English and rhetoric skills, however last night I was having trouble eyeing the keyboard. I swear the keys kept moving! Sorry again, thanks. __________________ So here's to living life miserable. And here's to all the lonely stories that I've told. Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow. Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle.

12-08-2006, 11:12 PM	#233 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	That's a great piece you wrote there. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

12-09-2006, 01:33 AM	#234 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Danke :-D __________________

12-20-2006, 02:06 AM	#235 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Naturally I agree with Crowquill. Simplicity isn't "in". __________________ Last edited by Crowe; 12-20-2006 at 11:09 PM.

12-20-2006, 02:18 AM	#236 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	My Christmas Song I believe the songwriters were asked to write a Christmas song... here's mine. I think it's best to warn you that this is entirely a joke and very crude. I know this. If you think it's funny, great, if not... well, sorry dudes. Imagine this to a very "happy" tune like most Christmas songs are. My Christmas Song I'd have my way with, Mrs. Claus and I will tell you how. I'd tie her down with tinsel, And stick a candy cane in her mouth. And just when Santa leaves, To deliver his presents to the girls and boys. I'll start to use my own set of toys. And with a glint in her eye, Mrs. Claus will begin to laugh with glee. I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus, And she's screwin' me! Every year around this time, It's a HO HO HO indeed! And if we are ever caught by, Jolly Old St. Nick! I'd ask him to join us and if he refuses, Mrs. Claus will grab him by his (robe) And with a Hey we'll ride in his sleigh, High into the night. We'll drop Ole' Santa from the air, Where he lands who will care? Then back on the bearskin rug, She and I will go! This is where the Elves cheer us on, As I give her a throw! Oh Crowe! I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus, And she's screwin' me! Every year around this time, It's a HO HO HO indeed! Now, I'm the new Santa, And I tell you what, I'm too fvckin lazy To get off my Santa butt. So those presents you're used to, Yeah well, maybe next year. That's if I'm not gettin' a hummer, Next to the nine reindeer. It's a HO HO HO indeed! It's a HO HO HO indeed! It's a HO HO HO indeed! (Mrs. Claus' voice) Especially when CROWE CROWE CROWE's in ME! __________________

12-20-2006, 02:20 AM	#237 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	i want this to be above the christmas song lol. small bump. __________________

12-24-2006, 12:31 AM	#240 (permalink)
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople... Posts: 1,536	you are one twisted bastard I like it __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER