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Old 11-11-2009, 11:00 AM   #101 (permalink)
Nae wains, Great Danes.
 
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Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon View Post
I packed my bags two days after my high school graduation
And said goodbye to my hometown without much hesitation
I jumped a plane to SFO in my determination
And made my way through the north bay with sense of liberation

My sister said I left due to lack of appreciation
Dad cried out "abandonment" toned with intimidation
But they can't steal the thrill I feel negating expectation
And guilt trips call for too much fuel and duel cooperation


EDIT: Still don't know what to do for the chorus but I finished up the lyrics -

You looked right in my face and said you don't deserve resentment
That night when you disowned me, yeah, you said you never meant it
So I promised my forgiveness and you filled up with contentment
But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket

You always said that anger's justified when provocation's present
I grew up knowing you were wrong, accepting the unpleasent
But now today three states away I'm calling you pathetic
And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it
I like both, I actually love the second one. It's very.. emotive, yet harsh. Which I like, emotive in part where you had "But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket" and harsh "And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it" I like those lines best, the first one cause it symbolises hope to me, and the second I feel like it's a rebellion, and you feel anger towards the person its directed at. Good work Also, I'm no music critic so I don't really know, thats just what it's like to me though, hope it helps
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:03 AM   #102 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by kayleigh. View Post
I like both, I actually love the second one. It's very.. emotive, yet harsh. Which I like, emotive in part where you had "But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket" and harsh "And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it" I like those lines best, the first one cause it symbolises hope to me, and the second I feel like it's a rebellion, and you feel anger towards the person its directed at. Good work Also, I'm no music critic so I don't really know, thats just what it's like to me though, hope it helps
Thanks, Kayleigh, I really appreciate it.
I should have a link up for the finished song by the end of the week.
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Old 11-12-2009, 10:38 PM   #103 (permalink)
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Almost final version of that song: Negating Expectations.rar

Edit: Ok, updated the song again tonight... hopefully for the last time. Dropped the harmonizing vocals found in the last version. Let me know which is better.
Version 3: http://www.mediafire.com/?gtwmg5xnhty
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#DEMODFROWNLAND
#TERMLIMITSFORMODERATORS

Last edited by WWWP; 12-02-2009 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 12-02-2009, 01:40 AM   #104 (permalink)
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Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

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Old 12-02-2009, 01:44 AM   #105 (permalink)
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Super good! Didn't know you had it in ya' Wolvey.
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Old 12-02-2009, 01:45 AM   #106 (permalink)
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Thank you!
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:36 PM   #107 (permalink)
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I didn't know there's other versions now ... I only saw the first half of the song made, and I really liked it then. Listening to the other version right now, but waiting for the buffering.

*Good that writer's block is out of the way now.
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:37 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

I listened to this on YouTube when you posted it, I have to say... I love it! Great job, and I hope to hear more.
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:43 PM   #109 (permalink)
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I listened to this on YouTube when you posted it, I have to say... I love it! Great job, and I hope to hear more.
Thanks so much, Kate, that means a lot. I'll keep you updated for sure.
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:54 PM   #110 (permalink)
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Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

I loved the second part, much stronger lyrics while keeping the same kind of "whatever" sound to it.
Plus Lovely cough at the beginning, just what every song really needs.

However, why is your voice 100% panned to the Left?
My headphones were tickling me very badly lol !
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