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Old 01-22-2009, 04:23 PM   #71 (permalink)
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It's a bitch ain't it? You always get over it though, somehow confidence always comes back to the writing process. My advice would be to keep writing shorter and simpler stuff like this - it eventually makes way for bigger ideas. That's how I go about getting over the ol' writer's block anyway.

Nice poem as well - good way to sum the process up.
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Old 01-22-2009, 06:38 PM   #72 (permalink)
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I really like this. Keep writing more.
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Old 01-22-2009, 08:20 PM   #73 (permalink)
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OK i would say good job if this is just poetry...

If this is a song you cant be so deep.. ppl have to be able to understand what your talking about. there are to many variables here. Simply put nobody holds conversations like that.

#1 get a recorder so you can say things as they come to you.
#2 Don't try to hard ppl can read that to.
#3 don't write to impress write from feeling.
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Old 01-23-2009, 01:10 AM   #74 (permalink)
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Thanks for the input... though it really isn't meant to be taken seriously. In case I didn't make myself clear I have serious writer's block right now and I just needed to write something to kick start the creative process.
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Old 01-23-2009, 03:30 AM   #75 (permalink)
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The first line sounds a little clumsy. From the second line it reads smoother, the rhyme at the end gives it a good feel.


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Originally Posted by Yukon Cornelius View Post
OK i would say good job if this is just poetry...

If this is a song you cant be so deep.. ppl have to be able to understand what your talking about. there are to many variables here. Simply put nobody holds conversations like that.
Terrible advice.
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Old 01-23-2009, 08:48 AM   #76 (permalink)
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^Seconded on the advice thing. Sorry man but since when have lyrics had to be in a "conversation"al mannor? Take a look at Lucy in the sky with diamonds, great song by The Beatles.

Picture yourself on a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
and she's gone
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:36 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitonica View Post
The first line sounds a little clumsy. From the second line it reads smoother, the rhyme at the end gives it a good feel.




Terrible advice.
Hey fruit "the rhyme at the end gives it a good feel". This is good advice?? So when i jump should i use my legs??
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:39 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon View Post
Thanks for the input... though it really isn't meant to be taken seriously. In case I didn't make myself clear I have serious writer's block right now and I just needed to write something to kick start the creative process.
Honestly it has to be something that you are educated in or something that has had an impact on you. Dont write other ppls storys... Unless it pretains to the idea of your writing. More or less use other ppls stories as referances.
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:45 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonace View Post
^Seconded on the advice thing. Sorry man but since when have lyrics had to be in a "conversation"al mannor? Take a look at Lucy in the sky with diamonds, great song by The Beatles.

Picture yourself on a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
and she's gone
That was written in the 60's in the "cycodelic" times im sure ppl understood. The question is was that hard for you?? Listen to the song while your on acid and tell me it makes no sense... There are more drug referances in that song that mainly pertain to that era that are of little use today. Now we use dialated eyes as apposed to other sayings that would have been common knowlege in the 60's.

People today are more simple minded and easier to please. Show me the average family in the 60's with a TV remote.. PPL thought more then and now we have nothing to think of....
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:46 PM   #80 (permalink)
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the kid wants advise not you to tell me im wrong about something..
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