LuneLight

It's nearly 4 in the morning,
I'm staring at the ceiling,
listening to the wind,
The only sign of life outside my window.

All I want is to feel something...
Got so used to having nothing,
that I forgot what it's like,
having something to fight for.
I used to have a big heart
It stayed alive for the longest time
and through the worst of times.
It kept beating.

But I loved too hard, too soon.
And I was left, marooned.
Devastated, I was thrown from my own body
I watched myself fall apart
Saw my own heart breaking.
Saw something die.
In that moment I vowed to myself that no one will ever see me cry.

I've kept that promise...
but it's made me numb.
I don't find warmth or comfort in anyone or anything
There are moments of joy, but they're infinitesimal and fleeting.
I just can't hold on to anything.
And now I know it's because my own heart stopped beating.

LuneLight

This love consumes my soul
Fills my mind with delusions
Casts shade over broken memories
Hides the part of me that longs to be
whole
This love snakes its way into my life
Eyes my wounded heart
And seduces me with the promise of healing,
If I just let it in.

I didn't want to let it in
I searched inside myself for my own healing light,
But I found darkness.
Just a void where my light was snuffed out.
I had already lost what I had been trying to hold on to,
What more could I lose?

So I breathed it in, this love.
Sat on the ground as a warmth washed over me
And filled my world with smoke
My heart, my memories, my pain
buried beneath this living cloud.

I am finally healed
I'm a new person
I can do anything
Until this love runs out and the smoke fades with it
My heart, my memories, my pain,
no longer hidden by the clouds.
I was never healed.
I was only distracted from my wounds by empty bliss

This love is toxic
It poisons your spirit,
But it keeps you coming back for another taste of the illusion
This love doesn't love you,
But through thick and thin it will keep you
This love is a drug.

Lucem Ferre

I like it.

__________________

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.

LuneLight

Every day feels the same
I’m waking up to put on a face
A face the world can tolerate
I practise words that I will say
When they ask if I’m okay
“I’m doing well. I can’t complain”
In my syntax, no trace of my pain

The pain,
I feel it, alive inside me
Like a cancer in my heart
And it spreads further with every beat
Tainting the sweetest memories
All that’s left to hold on to is a bitterness

The loneliness,
It feels like a puncture in my soul
A dull reminder of a time when I felt whole
And I search myself for that bliss
Even just a sliver of its existence,
But I find only its absence
Now I carry the despair that filled the void

I carry it on my own
And I all want to do is let it go.

I’ll take the poison and let it all go.
The black lie fills my veins and drowns my soul
Warmth licks my mind and melts my resistance
As the pain fades into the distance
I smile as I become numb

Wrap it around me
Guard me from my truth
Guard me from my own heart
Wrap the lie around me tight
I don’t want to feel anything tonight

And I know this might kill me...
But at least I’ll be numb

LuneLight

I’m not saying I’m the only one who’s broken
I just feel alone and so beyond repair
And after my heart’s truths had finally been spoken
Opened my eyes to find no one else there

I think I brought myself to this place
Dug this hole and laid my hopes to rest
Accepted that I would forever be without grace
And sunk deeper into sorrow’s embrace

I saw a light when I was alive,
I turned it away because It couldn’t be mine
I could not be worthy of a love so divine
For someone like me surely there’d be no salvation to find.
So I watched hope die and the despair felt right
Now I see what demons see
Something bad has a hold on me.
Now I feel what demons feel
Something sad has a hold on me

LuneLight

There’s nothing I can do now
No lies that I can tell myself.
This is all there is,
Nothing left to make me feel

Too long, I’ve buried myself in the dark
kept myself frozen in a lie
I didn’t know how to listen to my heart
when the facade started falling apart

I have tried to love,
Tried to let myself be loved
Thought maybe time would heal the wound
Fill the void that love left open
But how do you convince your heart to beat again
After it has been broken

Desperate for love,
or even the fleeting sensation,
I shed my clothes and become whatever you need
Slave to my need and your desire
I watch shards of myself fall away,
‘Til there’s nothing left of me to bleed

Searching for something, desperate to feel something,
My body rubbed raw,
I wear the face of a whore
Don’t know what it was I was looking for.
I only know that I want more.

OccultHawk

Stop using the word “I”

__________________

2016 2017 2018 2019 2020

Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion

Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND:

https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

MicShazam

You're going very straight for the meaning you try to get across, but there is a lack of mental imagery. Poetry is better when the words are used beautifully.

grindy

Props for tenacity. Almost 8 years.

__________________
A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.

MicShazam

Holy ****, I didn't notice that. You would have thought they'd gotten better at this point. I'll remove that line if that's too harsh.