Automatic Writing's Collection

Automatic Writing · 05-15-2012, 02:21 PM

Hey everyone, I'm still fairly new to the forums but I've really enjoyed both the variety and quality of discussions here. I've been a songwriter for a couple years and just recently recorded 3 of my songs.
I've gotten some positive feedback and am looking at taking some time to record enough for either an EP or album in the coming months. There's a good chance I will re-record the songs I post here, so I'd appreciate any critiques or suggestions you might have. And if you enjoy the song that's great to hear too!

My latest song: An experiment in catchy pop sounds and accessible lyrics while still maintaining a rock feel, titled A Realization.
A Realization by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

My 2nd song, entitled The Only One I see. This one has a few different influences in the sound, from John Frusciante's solo work to Fugazi and Joy Division, and features a solo from a talented amateur blues guitarist I know.

The Only One I See (feat. Clay) by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

My first song, A Fond Memory, which was really well-received but that I intend to re-record at some point. I think it has a really nice build and a pleasant vibe to it.

A Fond Memory by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

Thanks for listening!

Automatic Writing · 05-16-2012, 01:05 AM

Since this is a poetry/lyric focused forum, I figured I'd list the lyrics to each song in this post. They're all very much associated with the music, so it'd be great to read along as you listen. But I'd love a lyrical critique as well since I've seen a lot of talented lyricists and poets on here.

A Realization:
I've been running for so long,
God only knows from what.
I've been searching for a home,
Instead I found a rut.
But I know what I saw when I looked in your eyes,
An affection that made the wrong seem right.

Hey, yeah, we all want to live our lives.
Hey, yeah, we need an end to all this strife.
Hey, yeah.

I've been lying for so long,
I can only guess at why.
Honesty was my only goal,
But I guess you have to try.
I have learned that all the world's a stage,
But how do we know what role we need to play?

Ooh, how I wanted you.
But what do we have when all our dreams come true?
I said what do we have when all our dreams come true?

The Only One I See:
I don't understand why I came so far,
Just to pretend that I didn't want you.
I know I've got a few loose ends,
But can we tie them up tonight?

Be my angel, under cover,
Be the one for me.
You're the reason that I'm smiling,
The only one I can see.

A Fond Memory:
It's been so long since I looked into your eyes,
Since we sat together, and watched the sunrise.
Now and then I think back to those times,
When we had each other, and all was fine.

If it's all in the plan then I'll be your man,
Live life with love as my law.
If I don't understand then I'll still hold your hand,
I've waited for this time for oh so long.

Sljslj · 05-19-2012, 05:51 PM

Not bad. It's hard to avoid being cliche with love songs, but you did an okay job of that. Overall, I'd give 'em a 6 out of 10. I've only read the lyrics, though, so maybe when I listen to the songs, my opinion will change. Sorry I have nothing constructive to say. But I'd just like to say I'm moderately entertained by your lyrics, and would like to read more from you.

Thanks for posting.

Automatic Writing · 05-20-2012, 04:36 AM

Hey man, great to hear from you, honestly if the lyrics succeed in moderately entertaining you then I think I'm doing okay. I always fit my lyrics to a progression/melody, and often improvise them while playing. I do write poetry, and it turns out a bit different than my lyrics, not better or worse, just different.

Hope you get a chance to listen to the songs at some point, it's the context of what I'm trying to do with the lyrics

05-15-2012, 02:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Automatic Writing Groupie Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 19	Automatic Writing's Collection Hey everyone, I'm still fairly new to the forums but I've really enjoyed both the variety and quality of discussions here. I've been a songwriter for a couple years and just recently recorded 3 of my songs. I've gotten some positive feedback and am looking at taking some time to record enough for either an EP or album in the coming months. There's a good chance I will re-record the songs I post here, so I'd appreciate any critiques or suggestions you might have. And if you enjoy the song that's great to hear too! My latest song: An experiment in catchy pop sounds and accessible lyrics while still maintaining a rock feel, titled A Realization. A Realization by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free My 2nd song, entitled The Only One I see. This one has a few different influences in the sound, from John Frusciante's solo work to Fugazi and Joy Division, and features a solo from a talented amateur blues guitarist I know. The Only One I See (feat. Clay) by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free My first song, A Fond Memory, which was really well-received but that I intend to re-record at some point. I think it has a really nice build and a pleasant vibe to it. A Fond Memory by Joseph Flay on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free Thanks for listening! Last edited by Automatic Writing; 05-16-2012 at 12:52 AM.

05-19-2012, 05:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sljslj The Omniscient Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Reno, Nevada, USA Posts: 998	Not bad. It's hard to avoid being cliche with love songs, but you did an okay job of that. Overall, I'd give 'em a 6 out of 10. I've only read the lyrics, though, so maybe when I listen to the songs, my opinion will change. Sorry I have nothing constructive to say. But I'd just like to say I'm moderately entertained by your lyrics, and would like to read more from you. Thanks for posting. __________________ MY LYRICS Last edited by Sljslj; 05-21-2012 at 12:13 PM.

05-16-2012, 01:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
Automatic Writing Groupie Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 19	Since this is a poetry/lyric focused forum, I figured I'd list the lyrics to each song in this post. They're all very much associated with the music, so it'd be great to read along as you listen. But I'd love a lyrical critique as well since I've seen a lot of talented lyricists and poets on here. A Realization: I've been running for so long, God only knows from what. I've been searching for a home, Instead I found a rut. But I know what I saw when I looked in your eyes, An affection that made the wrong seem right. Hey, yeah, we all want to live our lives. Hey, yeah, we need an end to all this strife. Hey, yeah. I've been lying for so long, I can only guess at why. Honesty was my only goal, But I guess you have to try. I have learned that all the world's a stage, But how do we know what role we need to play? Ooh, how I wanted you. But what do we have when all our dreams come true? I said what do we have when all our dreams come true? The Only One I See: I don't understand why I came so far, Just to pretend that I didn't want you. I know I've got a few loose ends, But can we tie them up tonight? Be my angel, under cover, Be the one for me. You're the reason that I'm smiling, The only one I can see. A Fond Memory: It's been so long since I looked into your eyes, Since we sat together, and watched the sunrise. Now and then I think back to those times, When we had each other, and all was fine. If it's all in the plan then I'll be your man, Live life with love as my law. If I don't understand then I'll still hold your hand, I've waited for this time for oh so long.

05-20-2012, 04:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
Automatic Writing Groupie Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 19	Hey man, great to hear from you, honestly if the lyrics succeed in moderately entertaining you then I think I'm doing okay. I always fit my lyrics to a progression/melody, and often improvise them while playing. I do write poetry, and it turns out a bit different than my lyrics, not better or worse, just different. Hope you get a chance to listen to the songs at some point, it's the context of what I'm trying to do with the lyrics