Qwertyy's Journal of Music Reviews and Other Assorted Ramblings

The Batlord · 10-18-2016, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy

Nobody is perfect.

Who said it was a criticism? And please tell me you've read Lords of Chaos. It's technically a book about Norwegian black metal in general, but it's really a Varg biography in disguise.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-18-2016, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Who said it was a criticism? And please tell me you've read Lords of Chaos. It's technically a book about Norwegian black metal in general, but it's really a Varg biography in disguise.

**** yeah. Read it last year, along with Evolution of a Cult.

The Batlord · 10-18-2016, 10:10 AM

If you ever wondered how Varg uses the bathroom...

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-21-2016, 02:32 PM

Armand Hammer - Race Music
Recommended by Frownland

I'm changing up the format for this review just because the album has 17 tracks and I highly doubt I'll have enough to add with each track to make it worth reading.

Armand Hammer is a hip-hop duo consisting of two of the most underrated emcees in the world of rap music, Billy Woods and Elucid. Both have made a career out of their snail paced flows and abstract lyricism which often times forces the listener to really reflect on what is being said.

The first thing that stood out to me with Armand Hammer was the beat selection. Billy Woods (and Elucid, for the most part at least) normally gravitates towards very sparse, laid back production. On this project, however, we see the two take on some beats that are rather full and have a lot going on. Renaissance Garments is a great example of that, as the cloud rap influenced beat is very different from what one would expect to hear on a project from the two New York based artists. The production on Willie Bosket is also worth discussing as the beat exudes a fair bit of trap influence with the rattling hi-hats and 808s.

As one would expect after hearing what the two are capable of, the album is full of impressive lyrical moments. Their aggressive flow and heavy emphasis within their delivery makes every bar hit like a freight train, and on some of the more simplistic and straightforward beats like Shark Fin Soup, Hatchet Job, and Duppy, the lyricism really stands out.

Oh and as far as features go, Open Mike Eagle <3

Final Verdict: I've yet to hear anything less than stellar from Billy Woods, and Elucid has a pretty good track record as well. Nothing changes after having heard this album. They take a few risks with the production which is nice, they bring it lyrically track after track, and for a project that clocks in at over an hour, there's a nice amount of diversity in sound. This gets an easy pass.

Best lines from the album:

So goth I was born black/ Son trapped within a crux that endorsed crack/ Dirt nap before 21 be the forecast/ Flown flag half mast / Crass paths ventured/ Lucky if you just got stabbed / Limp ginger, flesh wounds still tender /Picking scabs /Block too hot, triage care intensive / Post grad, head of my class expensive / Sessions extended / Reality bites butjakes pinching /Old co defendant, new solo mission / Head spinning / Short glimpses / All city

Rabbi and the Golem / Base clay left to harden in the sun / Mobutu Sese Seko
Kill em all without touching a gun / House made of legos / Throw all the stones you want

There's probably way more than that worth mentioning, but those are the two that really stood out to me.

**Goofle** · 10-21-2016, 08:29 PM

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-30-2016, 03:04 PM

My 2016 Album of the Year
The Beatloads - S/T

I can't believe it's here, but it finally is! Experimental music's very own Weird Al Yankovic (known around here as Frownland) has finally released his long anticipated (no, really!) Beatloads project alongside his friend/brother/boyfriend/Bradley Pate.

Now, as someone who really respects the way Frown manages to parody experimental music and demonstrate to us all just how ridiculous and over the top the genre can be, I couldn't wait to jump into this thing. I've had the date circled on my calendar for weeks now, and now that I'm back from my doctor's appointment it's time to give this thing a listen.

The first track kicks off with some beautiful lightly strummed guitar. A true step away from anything I've heard Frown do before, and the vocals are quite wonderful as well - oh... wait a minute. I forgot to pause the Nick Drake track I was listening to. Well... let's get on with this then.

Instead of beautiful guitar we get some light synths while you can clearly hear Frown chasing his dog through a music store, and clumsily bumping into just about every instrument he passes. If any of you underestimated the dog's elusiveness, just know that this song is over 11 minutes long! Things really pick a few minutes in when Frownland (high, obviously) decides he wants some KD. Of course he isn't just off some of that good kush, and the acid in his system leads to him stumbling over the pots and pans and struggling to pick them back up. This is like one of those slapstick comedy bits were the take goes on for so long you just can't stop laughing at it. Lovely bit here.

*for those who don't know what I mean*

With that, we're onto the second song. The track title "I'm A Bleeder" is a tongue in cheek reference to the vocal track of the song which is a recording of a Vietnamese drug addict who was found bleeding out in the streets of LA. Bradley unfortunately didn't find that joke as funny, as he spends the track banging his head off of his drum set over... and over... and over... again. If any of you have doubted Frown as a musician, I highly recommend not listening to this track because it will not change your opinion whatsoever. Oh wow, is that a Tom Waits feature at the end? Oh... never mind. There's just something in the Vietnamese man's throat. Darn.

The third track seems to be an accidental addition. Based on the sound I would assume Frown forgot to stop recording as he and his friend moved the instruments to a different room. Don't ask me why Frown feels the need to rub a knife up and down his guitar while he carries it, but for whatever reason he does.

Now we're onto the biggest track of the album, Siamese Twins and an Obese Lady. Lyrically the track tells the story of the weirdest sexual experience Frown has ever had, which obviously involves Siamese twins and an obese lady. In a hysterical state of laughter over the story being told, Bradley can't stop shaking and eventually falls into his drum kit. For the remainder of the song he rolls around on the floor, kicking and slapping the drums, while Frown doesn't back away from finishing his outrageous story.

Up next is Elephant Housing. I'm unsure as to how Frown got the rights to this, but he decided to record a mash up of an art house film, National Geographic documentary, and horror movie score all at the same time. Let me tell you one thing, if you're a fan of good music, please stay away.

Following that is a lovely rendition of the final band scene in Whiplash. Bradley's drum work would undoubtedly leave J.K. Simmons speechless, and as if that wasn't enough we also get a great audio clip of Frown topping off a trumpet behind the dumpster outside of a KFC.

We're nearing the end now as we get the 32 second interlude titled simply Delivery Man. The only issue I have with this track is it's about 31 seconds too long, give or take, but aside from that yet another great cut.

With that we move onto the album's closer. Much like the opener this one clocks in at over 11 minutes in length (as we know, Frown is all about length.) The great part about this is we finally get to see the conclusion of the chase scene between Frown and his dog that kicked off the album earlier.

I can't believe it's over already. I honestly wish I could erase that album from my mind, just so I could listen to it for the first time again! Once again Frownland perfectly embodies everything that is hilarious about experimental avant-garde whateverthe****thiswas. What are you waiting for, get to listening! My only advice would be to keep the volume below 1 at all times (it gets a little loud near the end.)

**Frownland** · 10-31-2016, 01:44 PM

Excellent.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-31-2016, 03:07 PM

Thank you. I put a lot of thought into it.

**Frownland** · 10-31-2016, 05:43 PM

I also think that I'm a Bleeder is a great example of how great of a not musician I am.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 11-01-2016, 11:53 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the moment you've been waiting for. It's the most important time of the year, and no not because of anything to do with Steven Wilson (hi Ki.)

It is finally

The Month of

Now, we have a lot to cover over these next 30 days. Varg Vikernes is a busy man, and that means I have a lot to talk about. Let's start with a little history for those of you who are unaware of the best extreme metal musician to ever grace our little green and blue planet.

Varg Vikernes aka Kristian Vikernes aka Louis Cachet aka Count Grishnackh has done it all in his 43 years. From burning down churches, to making the two of the best black metal albums of all-time, to stabbing (and killing) a man, and of course reinventing himself as a racist, neo-nazi survivalist YouTuber.

We'll kick things off with a look at his musical debut on Old Funeral's Devoured Carcass EP, before swinging over to his work under the Burzum tag, while making plenty of pit stops to discuss his often controversial and hilarious exploits. So grab yourself some gasoline and a box of matches, because this one is going to be a church burner.

10-31-2016, 01:44 PM	#137 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	Excellent. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

10-31-2016, 05:43 PM	#139 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	I also think that I'm a Bleeder is a great example of how great of a not musician I am. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x