Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Duce
I think I already mentioned in some of my posts that I AM schizophrenic. So being a fanatical Christian didn't help much.
I don't hear voices much - just paranoid delusions about being a secret cop like the KGB, having telepathic powers, gangsta houngans putting voodoo spells on me, people on the street all know about me and talk about me openly
if untreated, it'll escalate to the point where I think I'm the Second Coming, also the reincarnation of Buddha and Vishnu
if still untreated, I think I'm God and develop a second personality, where my conscious mind doesn't know what the other personality did (I threw away a lot of "Satanic" CDs unconsciously)
I'm under heavy meds - an anti-psychotic, an anti-depressant, a sedative, a mood stabiliser
|
Damn. That's probably not as awesome as it sounds.
I used to know a guy who was schizophrenic. He almost never took his meds. Consequently, he thought he was the cause of 9/11, among other things. And he happened to be one of the best solo guitarists I've ever heard. He wrote amazing stuff, but he would end up burning all his music and notes when he wasn't on his meds because he was so paranoid that someone would break into his [grandmother's] house and steal his ideas and make millions of them.
I never really understood much about schizophrenia, and I've always wondered about the progression from the clear moments, to the un-medicated delusional ones. Is it gradual? What I mean is, what's the nature of the thought process that leads up to a total overtaking of a previously rational state? And does the previously rational state serve as a counter-balance or is it just regarded as a lie you believed?
Schizophrenia is the most interesting mental disorder to me, but I never get any chances to discuss it with anyone suffering from it.