decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
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*Remember, 50% of people are of below average intelligence*
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