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Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio
s_k, from what I've seen of you on the forums and such, you really do appear to be a good guy. A little overly-concerned with how others see you, but a really good guy, and it would be a shame to see you leave the forums over this.
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You know, it really means a lot that you say this.
I really like you an awful lot and I got the idea you were a bit annoyed by me, lately. So I'm glad to read this.
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You have been a valuable contributer, in particular in threads having to do with audio and technology, and that's definitely worthwhile on a forum such as this one.
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Yeah. We're the AKG Brotha & Sista here
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This is, however, the internet, and judgments here are going to be more unfounded than many you'll encounter out in the "real world", because of our significantly more limited knowledge of the people we interact with here on a regular basis.
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Yes, but even on the internet there should be a limit.
There's a difference between judging someone's behaviour and deciding that someone is a manipulative prick only being nice to people because he expects stuff back. And that he isn't autistic at all or at least not enough to live from a disability benefit (which really is a ****ing tiny amount of money where I live, it's nothing to strive for...
You're going to have to admit that that's just a step too far... At least that's what I think.
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Even if your relatively open about yourself, that's not going to translate even a fraction as much as it would out in the world, because there's a bit more detachment.
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I've never really been in this detachment business. I can love people over the internet just as much as people in real life. Obviously knowing someone in real life adds a lot to the sensation, but I care more about some of you than I care about some people in real life. On the other hand, I care a lot more about most people in real life than I care about you. But that also has a lot to do with the fact that I talk to them one on one, a forum is a bit different from that I guess.
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When you speak of your situation, people here have only what you say on the forum to interpret. They don't have you or any particular knowledge of you as a person, aside from what you've put down on the forum.
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And what I put on the internet apparently makes people think the stuff I just posted. Well that's awful. I don't really see why anyone would want to be negative about me anyway. Yes I can understand the 'so nice it's creepy'-thing people seem to think about me, but I mean... where does Freebase even get the idea that he knows enough about me to... **** it, I'm running circles here.
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Naturally, they're going to attach this to their own personal experiences in their real lives to fill in the blanks. It's not so much a personal attack on you as a person as it is their judgment based on prior experiences.
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Well yes, obviously...
But... Well, I just read the topic again and there were some others saying 'I understand what freebase says when...'. Well that's about as painful as the Freebase posting itself. I mean, all this time people were apparently thinking the same thing, at least partly, that Freebase thought. Well that's nice to know
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For example: I know that in America, jobs are scarce and everyone seems to be struggling to find one. In jobs such as fast food here, also, we have many people with mental disorders or developmental disorders who are able to hold jobs. My friend's girlfriend actually has Asperger's, and she has held a job at a movie theatre for two years, in addition to going to school. I know also people with severe Bipolar disorder and even schizophrenia who have been able to hold jobs. They're not necessarily happy, but here, that's pretty much just the understanding that it's just something which needs to be done. I don't have Asperger's or Autism or anything, and I'm still unhappy doing jobs which aren't in the arts - but I do them anyway. Being happy and feeling at home in a job isn't at all normal, at least not here.
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Same thing here, I guess. It's just that when I feel ****ed I'm not going to be able to do anything productive at my job. I don't feel to 'good' for any job. I've worked at a supermarket, hell I even cleaned beds and portable toilets. I worked with disabled people, I worked at a local radio station...
And I didn't even get paid for the radio station or the work with disabled people. I worked there for free and they still wanted to get rid of me.
How the **** can someone say I didn't try hard enough?
All these things that went wrong in my life have had a disastrous effect on my personality, it made me a pretty harsh and closed person. Until the day my girlfriend left me. That's when it all came back to me, I really made that turnaround that seems to happen to people in their lives at some point. And I got back to being the softie I am now. And I'm glad to be back. But I'm not going to let this society **** me up again. Unless someone offers me a job in a secure environment where there is time and space to take me and my personality into account, I won't even bother trying because I know it's just going to kill me. In the mean time I work very, very hard (for free) for all the people around me. Trying to do for them whatever I can.
But hey, you know, that doesn't matter because, as Freebase pointed out, I'm only doing this because of how it reflects on me. So in the end it doesn't matter what I do for others, as it isn't 'for real' anyway. Very nice...
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Also, what people say honestly doesn't matter that much. The only real issue I've seen lately is that you've felt the need to defend yourself extensively instead of just ignoring it. Again, you explained that you can't just ignore it, and I really do get that.
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I dunno Sara. I'm sure there's something I can say to you, being about theatre or whatever, that really makes you so angry that you cannot help yourself. I mean, I've never been very good at ignoring what's said. I'm very open (again) so people can get very close. I see this as a good thing, but it's not always easy. Calling me lazy, denying my autism, is really the worst thing you can do to me I guess. I mean, when it comes to criticizing me. There's obviously worse things to do.
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But yes: you're a good guy, s_k, and a quality poster. No one on here dislikes you, from what I've seen. I think there's just been differences in understanding opinions and the way things are for you. Chin up.
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Freebase dislikes me. Or at least he does now.
Have you seen his other replies in that topic? Come on, please.
Well he can kiss my ass for now.
I'm not leaving yet.
I am very disappointed in the persons that even slightly agree with freebase.
They're very wrong, very stupid and they really should be ashamed about themselves. But that's really all for now.
We'll see.