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Originally Posted by djchameleon
That must be devestating to you not to be able to hug a female friend!  |
Haha, not at all.
Well, when I say hug I mean cuddle. We hug when we meet up, we hug when we part, I got a hug when I bought her a CD. That kinda stuff. But she's not in my arms watching a movie or something like that. But she's cool just the way she is. I feels very natural to be with her. It's good.
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I have some female friends that when they get into a relationship they dump a majority of their friends and don't talk to them for the duration of the relationship including myself.
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I should admit that I do tend to put a lot of energy and time into my relationships. I have to watch not neglecting my friends because I'm known to do so, too.
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I've had that happen to me, telling a few female friends of mines that I had feelings for them. I happen to wear my heart on my sleeve and they can't take it for some weird reason so they have given me the silent treatment or stopped talking to me all together.
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Well I think the reason I don't get in trouble when telling girls what I feel for them is
1. It's 'just Stijn'. I somehow am no threat
2. I don't make a big deal out of it. I just wait for the right moment. I don't plan anything. But at some point there's a moment when I will be able to tell them that I really wouldn't mind being in a relationship with them, but that I'm fine with the way stuff is right now. It's kind of how you put it, I guess. I never choose a moment to tell them I'm in love with them. I just wait for a moment in a conversation where you feel really close, really like minded, you know that? And I just go something like "Oh dear there's times that you cause butterflies with me" (this sounds a bit overly sweet, but there's another way to put it in dutch which more or less says 'you give me shivers', so not butterfly business there. But well, I couldn't think of any better way to explain it in English).
And then the conversation just continues and nothing happens. It's just no big deal.
And well, a couple of months back I was discussing sex with a friend of mine and we got to the point where she said she'd love to have sex with me. Well allright. I sort of knew that already so I told her this was very much mutual. And then I figured "what the heck" and I asked here: "Say you and your boyfriend broke up... Am I right in thinking that if that were to happen, we really needed to have a very good chat?". And she answered "Yes, wasn't that obvious yet?'. Well that's nice. It's always nice to know that someone you really like likes you back. Even if they have a boyfriend
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So, it's all quite subtle. I never go "Girl I am in love with you and I want you to be mine". I wait for a moment where I can say "Well I wouldn't mind having sex with you... I would actually quite like it
" or a moment where I can say "You can move in any time", something like that
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Or I just go, when a girl complains that her boyfriend didn't want to have sex with her; "The guy must be out of his mind, why on earth would anyone NOT want to have sex with you?". It's not so much of a deal if you put it like that