Quote:
Originally Posted by bonesaw-orchestra
- A piece I felt compelled to write after recalling a documentary I watched last summer. The first stanza is based on a First Nations family in a northern Ontario reserve, where the suicide rate may be one of the highest in the world. Basically, the father killed himself, leaving the mother with several children. Eventually, she remarried, and if I recall correctly, she and her new husband committed suicide, leaving behind nine children, some of which witnessed the physical aftermath of the suicides. I've been trying to find the organization who made the documentary, but the title of it has left my memory. I wrote this pretty fast/passionately so excuse some errors.
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Wow that's incredibly sad and selfish of the parents to do that but I won't get into a suicide debate about that. We talked about that already ad naseum.
IMO, the language fit fine for what you were working with and the way that it was formatted. I don't feel like it needs to add more description/fluff to it. I feel like it makes more of a stronger point stripped down the way it is.